10 phrases to say to children to make them listen

Rather than getting angry and screaming, why not try saying some little "magic" phrases to get them to obey?

Yes, our children are adorable … But still, it would be a lie to pretend that they are receptive and obedient all day long. All children, even the wisest, have their moments of inattention, rebellion and small (or large) provocations. If we are lucky, it happens at home, but quite often these dear little ones decide to do it in public in stores, in restaurants or on the street. From the famous “terrible two” to pre-adolescence, certain behaviors can generate tension and a lot, a lot of nervousness.

How to deal with a child who does not want to dress to go out? Doesn't want to touch his plate at the restaurant? Or go on a whim in the supermarket aisle to get THIS overpriced toy?

Through small sentences, sometimes sprinkled with reverse psychology, it is possible to make them perform a task to which they are resistant or quite simply to modify their attitude, always in support and kindness. We have selected ten for you, to use in concrete everyday situations.

1. Get dressed

Situation: You are late for school, it is 7:50 am and you have to leave at 8:00 am. Your child has just finished their breakfast and is currently jumping / screaming in their underwear on their bed. He categorically refuses to dress.

Spontaneous phrase: "You stop now and hurry!" "

Preferred phrase: "I don’t understand, yesterday you dressed in 40 seconds, I was impressed. Do you want me to time you so that you try to beat your record? "

Explanation: the challenges always work with the little ones. They allow the child to be involved and make him want to pass the test given to him. It's also a way of turning a sometimes painful task or gesture into something playful and fun. For us parents, this is also and above all a great tip. "Are you going to lie in your bed rocket mode?" "Are you going to brush your teeth like a grown-up?" ". Don't forget to congratulate him when he took up the challenge.

2. Not available

Situation: You are in the middle of paperwork and your child is spinning around, fidgeting, and annoying you to play with him.

Spontaneous phrase: “Wait, I'm busy. "

Preferred phrase: "I heard you wanted me to play with you and I'll be happy to do so as soon as I complete this important task. "

Explanation: Saying that you are not available does not have the desired effect in a child's head, on the contrary, it will not stop asking for you. On the other hand, if you show him that you have considered his request, but that you must first finish what you are doing, he will know that he has been heard and will be able to wait to see his request. request satisfied.

3. Don't do something

Situation: You are in the doctor's waiting room and your child is starting to fidget and make faces.

Spontaneous phrase: " Do not do that ! "

Preferred phrase: "You would do me a great favor if you …"

Explanation: there is a double advantage here. This will give your child a feeling of real utility first, because he will understand that by acting in a certain way he will be doing you a favor. This turn of phrase will also empower him. Issuing a prohibition in this sense and speaking it in a calm and confident tone is much more effective than the traditional way.

4. The nonsense

Situation: your child has just taken the candy from the cupboard and has, in addition to that, left wrappers on the floor. However, he is prohibited from taking candy without consulting you first.

Spontaneous phrase: "You do what you want! Don't you listen to what you are told? "

Preferred phrase: "You made a mistake, it's human and it happens to everyone. Is there something you didn't understand? Do you want me to explain this one more time or repeat this rule? "

Explanation: against all odds, know that children (up to a certain age) love the rules, they frame them and make them safe. Repeat, summarize, and repeat again if necessary to get these rules in place, which are much more constructive than just no-go prohibitions. Also, remember that when a child has done something stupid, it is his or her act that is to be condemned and not him.

5. Don't want to eat

Situation: you are at the restaurant with your family and your child has barely touched his plate.

Spontaneous sentences: "Stop being picky and eat!" "

Preferred phrase: "How well you eat!" You are a big one. "

Explanation: Rather than attacking the child's attitude, see it the other way and encourage it. It's always best to act like you're proud of him and what he eats, without pointing him out. In addition, even if it seems obvious, know that it is especially important not to force a child to eat something against his will. Growing up can then arise blockages, dislikes and fears.

6. Tidy up your room

Situation: toys lying around, markers not closed, books strewn … this room definitely needs to be tidied up, but your child obviously doesn't agree and refuses to do so.

Spontaneous phrase: "Clear this room for me now!" "

Preferred phrase: "Would you like to do it on your own or should I help you? "

Explanation: The fact that you participate in this task will make it less overwhelming and make him feel supported. You may not help him tidy up his entire bedroom, but it is at the start that the child needs encouragement the most.

7. Very restless

Situation: Your child has been fooling around since getting up and becoming unbearable. Your remarks just slide over him.

Spontaneous phrase: "You are really starting to piss me off and we won't go for a walk! "

Preferred phrase: "The way you are behaving today makes me realize that you are too tired to go outside and play. "

Explanation: The idea is not to blackmail him but rather to make him understand that his attitude is not normal and needs to be rectified. If he isn’t able to listen, then he also cannot do the things that he enjoys. In addition, a child who fidgets, cries or throws objects sometimes reflects an inner problem that he cannot communicate such as anxiety, sadness or fatigue. So try to discuss it with him so that he externalizes his emotions.

8. The whim in the toy department

Situation: Any self-respecting future parent has already thought about this nightmarish episode. A child who screams and cries in front of a string of moralizing glances, because he needs this toy, his life depends on it.

Spontaneous phrase: “No, you won't. That's enough. "

Preferred phrase: "Let's put this toy on your birthday list, okay? "

Explanation: If your child is capricious on a regular basis, this sentence should be pronounced in anticipation, before the onset of a possible crisis. As a result, he will then not have time to be offended and will know that the toy may be offered to him in the more or less near future. To firmly and definitively forbid him something that he wants very much right now is pretty brutal. Even an adult would find it violent. Opening up a possibility for later is a softer solution for him.

9. Stop doing something

Situation: You make a very important phone call and your child keeps moving around you.

Spontaneous sentences: “Go play somewhere else! "

Preferred phrase: "Can you go play your card game in the next room please, I'll join you after I finish this call. "

Explanation: Once again, simple and silly bans don't work very well with a child. When you want him to stop doing something, don't forbid him but instead redirect him to another activity that he might be interested in, such as playing a game. The goal is to get his attention elsewhere and distract him from his initial action.

10. Congratulate when the child listens

Situation: finally! After 10 minutes of asking her to clear her plate, your child has finally done so.

Spontaneous phrase: " It's not too early ! "

Preferred phrase: "Thank you for listening to me, you are a nice girl / boy"

Explanation: Even if your child sometimes makes life impossible for you and you end up getting very upset when they don't listen, you shouldn't forget to congratulate them when they do. This will help him gain self-confidence and most importantly, encourage him to listen to you more afterwards.