Love engaged married? Nope!
10 reasons why marriage should be abolished
© LRafael / Adobe Stock
Our author finds little good about marriage and a lot of bad. Here comes her list.
Today is Valentine’s Day. One of the days on which the engagement ring is traditionally pulled out of the bag. Many couples then happily announce that they will be tying the knot and will stay together until the end of their lives. But is that actually desirable?
Marriage is a dinosaur. A relic from another century. Something that is actually only beautiful because of its romantic transfiguration and brings advantages to those who benefit from the long outdated tax advantages. She makes me angry. There are reasons for this – and they come here:
10 reasons why I hate marriage
1. We live too long to commit forever
The concept of marriage comes from a time when it was all about security. A good match was much more important than feelings and love. This in turn is a concept of our time. It’s just that we now live a lot longer. Sleeping in the same bed with the same person for 60-70 years without the feelings falling asleep is unrealistic.
2. It is not contemporary
Women in particular were dependent on their husbands, but they are now well on their own and have jobs and careers. You no longer need a provider.
3. There is no alternative
If you want to protect yourself and your children, you can’t avoid getting married. Of course, you can arrange a lot of things without the marriage certificate, but that is a lot more complicated and, for example, the widow or widower’s pension is only available if you have previously sworn eternal love in the registry office.
4. It is imposed
That brings us to this point. Especially if you have children that you need to care for in an emergency, there is no real alternative, especially if you are one of the couples who have a low household income.
5. Divorces are expensive
If things don’t quite work out with your loved one, you’ll be asked to pay again to dissolve the marriage. According to Finanztip, dissolving a marriage costs between 1,600 and 3,000 euros. On average, this affects almost every second marriage and, as a recent Statista analysis showed, most of them will divorce in 2022 after just six years of marriage. If you have invested several thousand euros in a lavish wedding celebration, it may not have paid off financially at all.
6. It strengthens traditional role models
Tax law still favors single-earner marriages through spousal splitting. Of course, this can also be the woman, but it usually isn’t. The man predominantly works full-time, while the woman either works part-time or is even a housewife. It is usually not common for the woman to receive financial compensation from her husband, which ends up in her own account.
7. It poses financial disadvantages for women
The so-called spousal splitting can have financial disadvantages for the lower-earning partner. This can have profound consequences, especially if a divorce occurs. This is particularly proven by figures on poverty in old age among women.
8. It is a must for fertility treatment and adoption
In order to receive subsidies from health insurance companies, couples who want to undergo fertility treatment must be married. Accordingly, the pressure of suffering then forces people into marriage. It is assumed that parents are less likely to separate if they are married. So would you rather be unhappily married?
9. She acts like it’s about love
Of course it’s also about love. But in the vast majority of cases it’s also about money. Given the divorce rates, neither one nor the other is a sustainable reason.
10. The husband is automatically the father
In the case of unmarried couples, the mother has primary custody of the child. In order for the father to receive the same, custody must be regulated at the youth welfare office with the mother’s consent. This in turn protects the mothers in the event of a separation, as it is usually the mothers with whom the child stays. If both parents have custody and there is an argument or no contact at all, this can be difficult for matters such as school or the child’s health care. Of course, there are situations in which this regulation is problematic for fathers. However, this remains the rarer scenario. If the parents are (still) married, the husband is legally the father of the child. Even if he isn’t biologically so. This in turn can lead to completely absurd situations.