Bad influence
12 Signs Your Child Has a Toxic Friendship
© Maria Vitkovska / Adobe Stock
What to do if your child suffers from bad influences? With these tips you will teach your child to recognize toxic friendships and build healthy ones.
Do you ever feel like your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend is a bad influence? Does it annoy you that you barely recognize your child once they’ve spent time with this other person? Sometimes all you have to do is roll your eyes internally and say to yourself, “They’ll have to figure that out for themselves, I’ll let them do it.” But sometimes you need to take action. Your child often cannot yet recognize for themselves when a friendship is toxic – and when it is good makes friendships.Your company is helpful in learning this important difference.
There are some indicators that you as a parent can use to tell whether your child’s friend is a bad influence. You can ask yourself these questions to find out if your child is suffering from a toxic friendship:
- Low self-esteem: Toxic friends destroy self-esteem. Does your child seem more insecure and becoming increasingly negative? Does it allow itself to be tempted into behavior that actually doesn’t suit it? And does it let your boyfriend or girlfriend boss you around?
- Foreign determination: Does your child’s mind constantly revolve around this child and how to please or appease him? Does it lose sight of its own interests?
- Behavior change: Does your child behave differently every time he spends time with his or her friend? Do you notice that it is less cooperative, more moody, more snappy? Do you hardly recognize it?
- retreat: Is your child avoiding activities or gatherings that he or she would normally enjoy and becoming increasingly isolated?
- Emotional outbursts: Does your child have mood swings, burst into tears easily, or shout out their anger? Does he suffer from high levels of internal stress that make him emotionally unstable?
This is how your child distinguishes between healthy and toxic friendships
Talk to your child about healthy and unhealthy relationships: Let it be part of how you deal with it when people don’t do you any good. And how to recognize and maintain healthy relationships that strengthen you. Your child can recognize toxic and healthy friendships by these signs:
These signs indicate a toxic friendship
- The other child says things like “I’m no longer your friend if you don’t…” Young children quickly say such sentences and the next moment everything is forgotten again. But such emotional blackmail becomes more serious among schoolchildren.
- The boyfriend or girlfriend behaves cruelly and disrespectfully.
- The person doesn’t care if feelings are hurt.
- The one excludes others to make them feel bad.
- Toxic friends constantly talk about themselves but have no interest in your child.
- They put pressure on your child to do things they don’t really want to do.
- Toxic friends try to stop your child’s other friendships.
These signs indicate a healthy friendship
- In healthy friendships, people treat each other with respect
- The other child listens to problems and shows interest.
- You and your child will be happy when good things happen.
- He understands that your child has other relationships and interests (even if he is jealous of them from time to time).
- If they hurt feelings, apologize and make a genuine effort to care for your child.
Tips if your child is in a toxic friendship
Friendships are so important for children, especially for teenagers, but also from elementary school age onwards, that they will put up with a lot to avoid being alone. Yes, it can be hard, but honestly, children – like all people – thrive on challenges. Your job as a parent is not to eliminate all bad influences and friendships. What’s more important is that you help your child make wise decisions about the people they want to surround themselves with. And teach him to take good care of himself. Here’s how to react if your child has a toxic friendship:
- Listen instead of devaluing: Give your child your full attention and listen non-judgmentally when they talk about this child. Give empathy by recognizing his feelings. Instead of directly scolding the other child’s behavior, you might remark, “That must have made you sad/angry.” Show your child that you know how important this friendship is to them, no matter what you personally think of it .
- Address strengths: Talk to your child about their positive qualities and remind them of what they can do and have already mastered.
- Increase the focus: It can help to carefully expand your child’s social circle – without directly stopping the toxic friendship. It’s about encouraging your child in their own interests and giving them new social contacts. Hobbies make your child less dependent on one friend.
- Set boundaries: Support your child to assert themselves and say “no” to some things.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, utopia.de