12 signs you’ve grown since your last relationship

When some of us think back to our last romantic relationship, we still get gagging and cold sweats. If this is your case, it’s because this love story didn’t really end well for you… and you’re struggling to get over it. Don’t panic, with time, good friends and new life projects, the pain will ease (promise).

Better yet, you will eventually be able to see the bright side of things. Because yes, even when a romance ends badly, there is always something positive to keep. Starting with your own evolution! Since this last relationship, you have certainly grown up. You may look and act the same, but you are a new person. If you doubt it, here are 12 signs that don’t lie, according to Hack Spirit.

You have given up on the past

1) The past no longer haunts you. The thoughts and memories linked to this old relationship no longer cross your mind. On the rare occasions when they occur, you have no regrets about your behavior and you no longer hate yourself for your faults. In reality, you no longer consider them as faults, but as normal attitudes. You have developed compassion and are now tender towards yourself.

2) You wish your ex well. Before, you didn’t want him to be happy and secretly hoped karma would take care of him. But now you don’t care anymore. And sometimes you even wish him happiness. Your breakup made you understand that anger only hurts you, that people aren’t necessarily bad just because they hurt you, that nothing is ever black or white, and that relationships are complex.

You choose yourself

3) You know yourself better. The failure of your last relationship forced you to question yourself. You asked yourself important questions like: “What do I really want in life?”, “What can’t I tolerate?”, And “Who am I ?”. When we’re in a relationship, sometimes we get too comfortable or too busy repairing the relationship that we forget about ourselves. You may have lost a partner, but you found yourself.

4) You realize that you no longer need a relationship to be happy. Since your last relationship, you have learned that singleness suits you perfectly. Sure, you want to be with the love of your life one day, but you’re totally fine if it doesn’t happen soon (or at all!). Seeing other couples doesn’t make you envious because you’ve been there and know that everything isn’t perfect and cute.

5) Your happiness no longer depends on you. As a couple, you were used to relying on the other to make you happy. Then, once without him, you felt an emptiness and you wondered who could make you happy now. But you managed to leave that state of mind. You now take care of yourself, you know how to please yourself and you are responsible for your own happiness.

You know yourself better

6) You know what you want in a relationship. Since the end of your last relationship, you are able to truly evaluate what you want (and what you don’t want) in your partner. Without this breakup, you would just accept whatever life throws at you instead of being more intentional and proactive in your love life.

7) You learned to know your faults (and even to change some of them). Relationships generally highlight our qualities and our faults. If you have a strong character, chances are you showed it to your ex. He may even have told you about it (and all your other flaws). While self-acceptance is obviously a good thing, you chose to work on yourself after the breakup. It’s not because you want him back, but because you want to be better for yourself.

You learned from your mistakes

8) You put into practice the lessons learned from your former romance. For example, you learned that you should not commit too early, that you dramatize too much or that you do not communicate enough. In any case, you have identified your mistakes and you are sure that you do not want to repeat the same ones in your next relationship.

9) You learned to know your limits. In a relationship, it’s difficult to set (and respect) clear boundaries, especially when you spend a lot of time with your partner. However, far from being selfish, boundaries are important for our well-being. After your last breakup, you learned to recognize and appreciate your limits. You promise yourself now to be firmer about it so that you never feel resentful.

You take better care of yourself (and others)

10) You maintain your other relationships. It’s normal to lose interest in friends and family once you’ve found love. Normal, yes… but not healthy. When you broke up with your ex, you realized you had very few friends left and had become estranged from your family. Today you pay attention to all your relationships. You will no longer relegate them to the background just because you are in a relationship.

11) You focus on your personal development. When you were still in a relationship, you dedicated yourself to making your relationship flourish. You were busy building your routine as a couple, and you forgot who you are as an individual. The breakup reminded you that at the end of the day, the only constant person in your life is you. So you try to take care of yourself, pursue your dreams, and adopt healthier habits.

12) You have a healthier outlook on love and relationships. As a couple, you thought love was the only thing that mattered. At the time of the breakup, you thought love was just a waste of time. Today you have a much healthier outlook on love and relationships. If romance is important to you, that’s not all that matters. You think that love is synonymous with self-sacrifice, but that it has its limits (and that’s okay). And while it may sometimes end, it is never a waste of time.

Journalist

Curious and passionate about pop culture, Joséphine is a fan of music, series and even Instagram of all kinds. If she loves following celebrity news and the latest…