Breakups hurt. Breakups mean burying dreams. Breakups never happen lightly and breakups are talked about, commented on and everyone has good advice to hand. "Just shut up," says our newly separated author.
1. I would never have thought that, you were such a beautiful couple. (Yes No…)
2. Have you thought about that too? (No, it occurred to me last night and then I just thought I'd break up)
3. Hopefully the children will keep no long-term harm from this. (Thank you, that helps especially because the children are of course the ones to be worried about the most.)
4. Just because of the children you could have held out a little longer. (Sure, I'll just suffer quietly for the next 20 years. They certainly won't notice)
5. It used to be that you didn't break up so quickly. (1. Fast is probably relative, how do you know how long things have been s ** t? 2. In the past, different times and most women were financially completely dependent on their husbands.)
6. Are the children all from the same man? (Uh yes, what are you telling me with the question? That I'm too stupid to have a relationship but still get pregnant?)
7. A child doesn't save a marriage. (…)
8. Anyway, I thought that you didn't go together. (But never said anything beforehand …?!)
9. Now you finally have time for yourself again, enjoy it! (This is Hell on Earth, I don't want time for myself, I want distraction)
10. You only ever see the negative. (Yes, because everything sucks right now.)
11. Have you really tried everything? (see 2.)
12. I really don't want to swap places with you … (Oh man, it's a shame.)
13. Phew, getting to know someone again at your age and with children is no longer so easy. (Oh wow, I feel better right now.)
Which really helps
Breaking up is tough. Breaking up feels like dying and burying at the same time. It hurts inside, outside, everywhere and you believe that this feeling of a huge black stone in your stomach will never go away. And then there is the lifelong dream that has to be buried. The perfect family, the desire to grow old with one and the same partner. Everyday moments that will no longer exist. The loss of a home, of security. And suddenly you're sitting at the table alone with the children. It can be good, but it can still hurt as hell. The only correct sentences after a breakup are: "I'm sorry" because it is sad. "This is sure to be a tough time for you" – because compassion is good for you. And instead of constantly creating new apocalyptic scenarios, it is above all confidence that helps. Because often there isn't that much left after a breakup. To everyone out there who are going through a breakup: "You can do it! There will be bright days again."