psychology
3 common life lies we must stop telling
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Passing on knowledge and proven traditions is great! Stupid, however, when we hold onto errors and lies by tradition – and then also believe them …
In the first 20 years of our lives in particular, we are all taught a great deal.
- Make sure to look left, right, left before we cross the street.
- Always nice to say “please” and “thank you” when we don’t want to look like a rude idiot.
- 63 divided by 7 is 9.
Most of it is extremely practical knowledge that has been proven to be passed down and that makes our life a lot easier! Sometimes we get a lot of nonsense among all the wisdom, and it’s not always that easy to spot. To name just three examples …
3 life lies that we shouldn’t pass on anymore
1. “What doesn’t kill you makes you strong”
It’s super easy to say when something bad has happened to a person. “Look at it positively, it will make you stronger!“The only problem is: It’s just not true! Pain, injuries, strokes of fate, trauma – things like this weaken us and downright knock us out. Only when WE actively do something to cope with it do we grow beyond ourselves and become stronger. But is it then the experiences that make us stronger? No, we are alone! We can and should pat ourselves on the back and be grateful when we are stronger than before after a difficult time! Fate, on the other hand, really needs and deserves no recognition …
2. “Work first, then pleasure”
There is a saying in Russia that goes something like this: “Work is not a wolf – it doesn’t run away from you and disappear into the forest.” That means: “Don’t stress yourself, the work will still be there tomorrow.” And what does that tell us? In any case, that the idea that you have to put the nice things on the back burner and always earn joy in life first (“no hard work, no price”) is not so natural at all. After all, nobody gives us the guarantee that this “then” will really happen at some point ...
3. “Everyone gets what they deserve”
Admittedly, there is something comforting to imagine that there is a higher justice. And if it helps one to be less angry and to accept certain things better, the idea is of course perfectly legitimate. However, believing in this unproven prophecy also has its dangers: E.g. that we assume that people who are unlucky are their own fault. Or that we question ourselves when fate strikes. Or that we let people who commit an injustice get away (“he’ll get his just punishment”). In one sentence: That we generally assume that everything in life is somehow fair. Because unfortunately (?) Not true.
In truth, people have different chances depending on their place of birth, gender, and the occupation of their parents. In truth, the innocent small car driver dies if someone gets drunk behind the wheel of his SUV. Our world is not inherently fair. And just because what we do is often not enough to make them fair, we mustn’t convince ourselves that people deserve happiness or unhappiness. Even if it may not be so reassuring: We should rather come to terms with the fact that life is not always fair and just. Otherwise, in the end, it is us who have to be accused of injustice …