The institution of “marriage” triggers very different reactions: some can’t wait and get married at the age of 18, others never. Three women from three generations share what they think about marriage.
Our series “Tell 3 generations”
In the editorial office, we regularly discuss topics that move us – love, education, job, beauty, aging or the meaning of life. It is always noticeable how differently the different generations tick.
That’s why we created the series “Tell 3 generations” in which women from the extended BRIGITTE cosmos have their say. It’s worth checking back again and again!
Anna (20) is (still) unsure whether she wants to get married
I can’t make a 100% decision for or against marriage. I’ve been with my partner for four years and often feel insecure when friends jokingly ask when we’re finally getting married.
In itself, I am of the opinion that a civil or church wedding has no influence on a relationship and I also see no point in having my love confirmed by a certificate. In addition, in the case of a separation, which of course you do not expect, but which can still happen, a divorce is much more complex.
On the other hand, being a married couple is much easier. For example, when it comes to making decisions for the partner in emergencies when he/she cannot do it himself. Financially, there are many benefits of marriage. But I often ask myself: Do I want to make my decision dependent on things like taxes if I don’t really want to get married? That’s why I’m not sure myself if I want to get married and in the end it might not make as much of a difference as you think.
Julia (37) is annoyed about the benefits that only married people get
First of all: the concept of marriage is completely antiquated for me. Only hopeless romantics still believe in one great love. It’s not that I don’t think it’s nice when two people say yes and swear eternal fidelity, it’s just that about half of them get divorced and a very high percentage don’t take fidelity that seriously either – nothing with eternity. It makes perfect sense to me: while the concept of marriage comes from a time when people died much earlier and the purpose of this connection was economic security, today we have lived far too long for just one relationship and are economically positioned in such a way that we we have the choice to stay or go. We are constantly evolving, changing. It’s only logical that we get to a point where we might not fit together anymore. Of course there are exceptions and couples who come to terms with each other and there are those who actually just annoy each other and still stay together.
People usually get married for romantic reasons, with an ideal of love. Unfortunately, the romance doesn’t last. Ergo, many first spend a lot of money on the wedding and then again on the divorce. Other people make money out of it. What annoys me the most is that no matter how long you’ve been with your partner, you’re still being forced to get married in order to “enjoy” various benefits, both tax and legal. You can certainly insure some things differently, with a lot more effort of course, but, for example, co-insurance often only applies to married people, as well as tax breaks, information in the hospital is difficult, as is the topic of adoption, inheritance, etc. A lot of it makes me very angry, pretend All because the concept of marriage is still seen and lived as the ultimate, but has a 50 percent probability of complaints.
For Julia (49) the marriage was just right – as a sign to the outside and also to the inside
I still remember exactly how I thought in front of the registry office: “Oh, it’s only a formal act!”, and then found it very drastic. It was clear that separating would then no longer be so easy, but would have legal consequences. That gave the matter even more weight for me, and I thought that was a good thing. I felt safe afterwards. As a child of divorce and the daughter of a single parent who constantly had to run after maintenance, I know that of course that will happen in the end That’s not true, but it was more a sense of security than a financial one that was important to me.
We then also got married in a church, which was even closer to me; a promise before God meant a lot to me and to my husband. Today we have been married for 20 years, have three children and many crises behind us, but we are still friendly and approachable to each other. Sometimes I also suspect how difficult it will be to find yourself again when the children are out of the house. But for me the marriage was just right as a sign to the outside and also to the inside. I like the binding nature of it.