wisdom
3 golden rules I learned from grandma about being a mom
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Anyone who has children knows that grandma has more well-intentioned advice than we sometimes like – not all of it is helpful or even up-to-date. But there are also a few pearls, because Grandma is wise after all.
1. Just let the kids do it
Child: “I’m sooooo bored!”, Me: “Ok, what do you want to do? Puzzle, read, paint, go out, go in, play ball, play something else, eat, drink…?”, Child: ” No”. There is little that stresses me more than the boredom of my children. It should be proven to be very healthy, because it promotes creativity and independence.
What research is scientifically investigating today, my grandmother Liesel knew much earlier. Because while I was constantly circling around my child to find the right activity for the respective boredom mode, she said: “Child, just let the children do it, they will come up with something when they have been bored long enough .” The same applies to activities that we find inappropriate or pointless in any way, such as grinding chalk residue into powder or tinkering with the shavings in a sharpener. Intervening less and letting things be done more easily means that the parents can relax a lot.
2. Time is running, take it!
Tidying up, cleaning, shopping, doing something, checking something quickly, making a phone call, driving there for a moment: there is always something to do. Oddly enough, these things often come before our children. Sure, we want to feel good at home and not sink into chaos, and some things have to be taken care of, but not a lot, or at least not immediately. BUT: When grandma says: “You’ll never get your time back with your children if you don’t take them,” she’s absolutely right. And to be honest, what do we remember later: that the house was always so tidy, or how many great moments we had with our kids? Thank you Grandma!
3. Getting loud doesn’t help at all
Grandma is simply wise and has always known: Shouting brings nothing but frustration on all sides. If you want someone to listen to you, keep calm. If you can’t do that right now, go into the kitchen and take a deep breath. Doesn’t have to be the kitchen, of course, but just get out of the situation.
I tested it and Grandma was right again. Children eventually stop taking everything else seriously, and to be honest, the yelling doesn’t relieve me at all, on the contrary: After an outburst of anger, I still have a guilty conscience, and that in turn puts me in a really bad mood. Finally, losing your temper and getting loud doesn’t feel particularly good either. So take a deep breath and then explain at eye level what is driving you crazy. By the way: If you really want children to listen to you, put on a mysterious face and whisper – the tip is from me and not from my grandmother. But it also works. Usually.