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3 tips to stop apologizing at work

A professional coach delivers her top 3 reflexes to stop crashing at work for lack of confidence.

Do you start your pro calls with “Sorry to bother you” ? Do you tend to write “Excuse me” or “I’m sorry” in your emails when you have no reason to do so? When you arrive in a meeting 2 minutes late, do you start by explaining the reason for your slight lack of punctuality? These reflexes, which we are not always aware of, can end up weakening our self-esteem. If this is your case, then the advice of Sam DeMase are made for you. In a clip of just 22 seconds, the professional coach reveals three ways to gain self-confidence and stop declining at work. Your self-confidence will come out of it.

1 – Replace excuses with thanks

In Sam DeMase’s first scenario, you are a manager late for a meeting. The first instinct of a person who is not very confident or who suffers from impostor syndrome? Apologize flatly and self-flagellate by believing not to be worthy of this post. The coach advises you to turn the situation around by entering the meeting room (or on Zoom) with a simple: “Thanks for waiting for me. I really appreciate your patience.” You keep control of your team by reminding them of one of their many qualities. At the same time, you do not diminish yourself despite your delay. And you don’t have to justify yourself, to give a reason for the delay.

2 – An error is an opportunity to learn more about you

Second scenario: You made a mistake in a task and a colleague comes to see you to explain to you what is wrong. If you have a low confidence, it’s the worst day of your life and you think you deserve some public lashes. Game Of Thrones. Sam DeMase’s advice? Silence your inner-bully and answer your colleague: “Thank you very much for the clarification. I’ll get back to it right away.” or “Thanks for your feedback. I’m on it.” Everyone makes mistakes, but for a person with a lack of confidence, it’s hard to recognize it. Going through a thank you is the best option.

3 – You don’t “disturb” anyone, it’s their job

Would you dare to tell a firefighter: “Excuse me for disturbing you, I believe there is a fire in my house. If you have time, please call me back” ? No, you know it’s his job to control a fire. So why do you spend so much time bowing when it comes to reaching a colleague, a manager or someone outside the company? Instead of starting your emails with “I’m sorry to bother you”, Sam DeMase advises you instead to go free by asking: “Do you have time now for a quick call?” Your interlocutor does not have to be embarrassed by you doing your job well. However, this leaves the possibility of responding in the negative if the person is indeed too busy. Everyone wins. Including your self-confidence.

Significant bonus: these tips also work in privacy!

Dan Hastings

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