3 topics of conversation that make you likeable from the first impression

More than an icebreaker
3 topics of conversation that make you likeable from the first impression

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After Corona, many are wondering: How do you have a pleasant conversation on a date? This question has now been investigated in a study – with interesting results.

The corona pandemic has not only thrown our everyday life upside down in the long term: when it comes to dating, many of us also have to slowly feel our way around again. How did you have a conversation again? And above all: How did you have another conversation that wasn’t unpleasant, but left a lasting – nice – impression on both sides?

The dating platform “Plenty of Fish” conducts an annual study that deals with the issues that concern singles. In a survey of 2,000 singles between the ages of 18 and 55, they found that, fortunately, conversations and the quality of them are still the most important factor in establishing a connection.

In an age of emoji, which can mean anything from a nice smile to a suggestive sex act, it’s certainly comforting to know for many that the word—whether written or spoken—still reigns supreme. We’ve collected a few possible topics of conversation that are guaranteed to make you seem as likeable as you are.

Address common interests or experiences

At best, you can learn a lot about the other person from the dating profile: What does they do in their everyday life? What job does she do? Does she love skydiving as much as you? If the profile of the app or platform already gives rise to topics of conversation: Use it! According to the study, 60 percent of respondents like it when a conversation starts this way. Alternatively, as the conversation (whether real or digital) progresses, a topic may arise that you can “hop on”. Do you both love to travel? Maybe you were in a place where your counterpart would like to be or was too?

What is particularly practical about this type of conversation: You automatically listen to the other person intensively and are attentive. Charming people are good listeners, as dating coach Mike Goldstein reveals in an interview with “The Healthy”. “Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Give the people you meet the opportunity to do so.”

Don’t be stingy with honest compliments

A compliment really never hurt anyone. And how studies show, we underestimate their power: In the study, subjects were asked to compliment the fourth person of the same gender they encountered during the day. The person who received the compliment was given a questionnaire to fill out on site. The result of these forms and the subsequent questioning of the subjects: They themselves underestimated how positively their compliment would affect the mood of the other people, the people wrote in the sheets that their mood had changed for the better.

In short: people love to be complimented! But be careful, because it is sometimes very easy to negatively influence the atmosphere with a poorly chosen compliment. So try to be honest and non-intrusive with your comment, and maybe pick a small detail, like the eyes or the hairstyle, to express your well-meaning admiration.

A little joke can break the ice

When you come up with a funny story, don’t hesitate to tell it if it fits the situation or feels “right” at the moment. Jokes or overly coarse sarcastic or ironic remarks should be avoided: Especially at the beginning of the getting-to-know-you phase, your counterpart may not yet be able to appreciate your sense of humor.

Which topics you should avoid

Of course, the study also dealt with the topics that should not be mentioned on a date – especially not at the beginning. According to the survey, politics, sex, previous relationships and money are absolute mood killers for singles. Negativity is a no-go for almost half of those surveyed (41 percent) and nobody wants to have constant chatter at the table. One in five people (20 percent) hate it when dating partners hold monologues and they don’t have a chance to speak for themselves. Using “big words” to appear clever or placing controversial topics is also a reason for rejection for some respondents.

Of course, each person has to decide for themselves to what extent certain topics should really be avoided. Especially people with a strong political stance will probably want to talk about their stance relatively early in the getting-to-know-you phase, in order to see to what extent they are compatible with the other party. However, it is probably a matter of tact for most people to keep ex-partners out of the conversations – very few people want to hear hymns of praise or hate speeches about their ex-boyfriend from their dating partner.

Sources used: yourtango.com, thehealthy.com, psychologytoday.com, journals.sagepub.com

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Bridget

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