Justify? Excuses? Keep covered? Or outright take responsibility and admit that something went wrong? You can read here about the situations in which the latter is usually the wisest and most advantageous.
Mistakes are human and of course we take responsibility if we are wrong. Theoretically quite simple. In practice, however, it doesn’t always work out that way. Fears, feelings of shame, insecurity, excessive demands, all of this can tempt us to try to hide our mistakes, deny them or put them into perspective. That is just as human. However, not always our best option. Especially in the following situations, an open, responsible approach to mistakes is typically beneficial to us, while other strategies can make things worse than they need to be.
4 situations in which your best option is to own up to your mistakes
You hurt someone close to you
Whether in a partnership, friendship, parent-child relationship or other family relationships – when people are close to each other, it is almost inevitable that they will hurt and disappoint each other from time to time. This may seem surprising at first, but if we think about it, it is easy to understand: sometimes, often, we are simply unable to take other people’s feelings into consideration, not even those of our loved ones. Stress at work, not sleeping well, any processes in our bodies that put a strain on us, or the usual extra effort that we occasionally have to put in to get on with our lives – there are numerous circumstances that can lead to us not being able to trace are. And then it just happens: we take our anger out on our mother, we’re not there for our sister who needs us, we accidentally gaslight our brother, who we can’t get involved with at the moment. It happens and unfortunately it cannot be undone.
However, the damage can be limited by taking responsibility, admitting our mistake and apologizing for it. On the one hand, this will make it easier for the other person to forgive us, and on the other hand, they will continue to have trust in us or be able to rebuild it more quickly.
You have harmed yourself or put yourself in an uncomfortable position
Sometimes we ourselves suffer the most from our mistakes. Whether we once again said yes when we meant no, whether we didn’t take care of ourselves, ignored our needs or boundaries, or fell back into an old pattern that, surprisingly, is still not a good path for us – in all of these situations It’s best for us to firmly admit that we messed up. Only then can we perhaps behave differently next time in a similar situation. That doesn’t mean we have to judge ourselves harshly and be angry with ourselves for days. Realizing and acknowledging that in retrospect we would have preferred to have acted differently and resolving to do so in the future means we don’t have to continue playing the “if only I had” game. Instead, we can do another round in which we look for reasons for our behavior and think about what we need in order to react differently and what this can look like in concrete terms.
You let your prejudices guide you
No one is free from prejudice and, as a rule, prejudices are inaccurate. In this respect, there is no shame and no reason to be ashamed if we realize that we were wrong because of prejudices. Ultimately, the determination is the prerequisite for us to rethink and adapt our perspective. And that is more honorable than holding onto or defending our prejudices.
You failed at your job
Missed the deadline, transposed numbers in the invoice, tipped off in the headline, came too late. We are humans, not machines, so it’s only natural that we occasionally make mistakes and mess up on the job. Unfortunately, this is not yet a given in every corporate culture, but ultimately it is still best for us and our work environment if we raise our hand after a mistake instead of pointing the finger and demonstrate a willingness to make amends. Maybe it won’t give us the brightest career path or always make us look our best in front of our superiors. But whether our direct colleagues or one or another person who is hierarchically above us, the people with whom we score points with such an approach usually outweigh those who use our mistakes against us.
Sources used: hackspirit.com, businessinsider.de