Is love blind?
4 warning signs that your new relationship is moving too quickly
© Kay Abrahams/peopleimages.com / Brigitte
Those who are newly in love are often blind to red flags and other signals that could indicate that the new relationship is perhaps moving just a little bit too quickly. You should pay attention to these signs.
“A new love is like a new life,” crooned pop singer Jürgen Marcus. Being newly in love is certainly one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. Thanks to an unbeatable cocktail of hormones, we see the world – and often also our new partner – through the proverbial rose-colored glasses. This can cause our relationship to develop very quickly, faster than is actually healthy. But we often don’t even notice it because we only concentrate on our treasure. These warning signals should ring your alarm bells – and you might want to put the brakes on a little.
These 4 signs will tell you that your new relationship is developing too quickly
1. You think your partner is absolutely perfect
The hormone cocktail mentioned above ensures that our partner can do nothing wrong in our eyes. Nature cleverly arranged it this way, after all, in prehistoric times, mating was primarily about producing offspring as quickly as possible and contributing to the preservation of the species. Fortunately, things are different today and we can (and should!) be a little more careful when choosing our partners.
This does not mean that we should immediately discard every person at the slightest mistake. On the contrary: it is healthiest when we look at the person and our situation rationally and realistically. This is anything but easy when you’re newly in love. But if you are convinced that your sweetheart is absolutely perfect, and perhaps even begin to not want to acknowledge any flaws that arise, it is best to reflect on your relationship with a keen eye.
2. You don’t talk about serious things
When you’re first falling in love, it’s sometimes difficult to remember the serious things in life. Work, money, health. But sooner or later they catch up with you. So if you and your new partner spend every free second together and feel like you talk about everything, then check whether you can really talk about EVERYTHING. Do you perhaps deliberately exclude potentially unpleasant topics of conversation, such as finances, whether or not you want to have children or other important life topics that are also important for a relationship? Then you should urgently change that before the relationship becomes more and more serious without you having clarified these fundamental questions.
3. You lose sight of yourself
At the beginning of a relationship, we prefer to spend every free minute with our new sweetheart. It’s only natural that we may see friends or family a little less during this phase than we did when we were single with all the time in the world. But maybe you’re starting to get the feeling that you haven’t seen your best friend for a really long time. Or your back hurts because you haven’t exercised in what feels like an eternity.
As important as your (new) partner is to you, you should still come first. And this also includes your physical, mental and social needs. Maybe it would even be good for you to spend an evening apart by attending your favorite fitness class with a friend.
4. You can’t make independent decisions
For a serious relationship, it’s essential that we plan together at some point – the emphasis is on “someday.” Because if you have the feeling that after just a few weeks of dating you can no longer agree to lunch with your friend without asking your partner first, you are most likely moving too quickly.
Joint weekend trips or larger excursions can of course take place at the beginning of a relationship if you both feel comfortable with it – and of course these sometimes require some planning. It only becomes critical when you can practically no longer make everyday decisions, no matter how small, without discussing them with your sweetheart.
Sources used: bustle.com, psychologytoday.com