Well, what do you mean: Do you have a high level of social intelligence? Or are your strengths somewhere else? You can find out which criteria you use to get clarity here.
How well can you adjust to others? How easy is it for you to integrate? Can you assert yourself against your fellow human beings, but still remain sympathetic? All of this depends on the level of your social intelligence, i.e. your ability to orientate yourself and move around in the interpersonal area of our world.
Just as everyone has a certain intelligence, we are all socially intelligent – the only question is how pronounced this characteristic is in each of us. Those with a very high level of social intelligence find their way around both in professional and private contexts remarkably well and as a result are usually more successful than someone whose strengths are more likely to lie elsewhere. After all, interpersonal relationships and relationships play a huge role in our everyday life: Even the most talented programmer probably won’t get a job if she doesn’t manage to convince people of herself and her skills in an interview (but at least she still has a career as a hacker …). And even the most lovable person will remain lonely if they cannot open up to others.
Based on the book “Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success” by Karl Albrecht, communication expert Michael Thompson has identified five key characteristics that, in his opinion, characterize particularly socially intelligent people: situational awareness, presence, authenticity, clarity and empathy – SPACE for short. Now let’s take a look at what is meant by each of them.
SPACE: These are the characteristics that socially intelligent people have in common
Situation awareness
Socially intelligent people fundamentally attach great importance to getting a clear picture of a situation before they act in it themselves. To do this, they pay attention to the posture of those present, facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, bobbing feet … – everything that can provide information about how the participants are doing and how they relate to each other. The better we understand a situation, the safer and more appropriate we can behave ourselves in it. Holding back for a moment and taking the time to gain awareness of your surroundings is therefore generally a good idea (except in dangerous situations, then it’s time to run!).
presence
By presence, communication coach Michael Thompson primarily means something like undivided attention: Socially intelligent people concentrate fully on their counterparts or the people around them. They neither look at their cell phone nor at their watch in between, nor do they sink into their own dreams or thoughts. In fact, it’s not that easy, after all, we all have our own worries and are used to being distracted and interrupted by messages, emails, and ringtones every few minutes. Concentration and meditation exercises can help to improve one’s own presence – as can a sincere interest in others and a sincere desire to understand others.
authenticity
To be authentic essentially means to stand by yourself and your own values and to present yourself as it feels natural. Authenticity generally requires a healthy level of self-confidence and self-reflection – because without knowing yourself at least a little, it is usually difficult to be true to yourself. In order to promote your own authenticity, it makes sense to ask yourself questions such as: What is particularly important to me? What distinguishes me and what distinguishes me from others? What do my fellow human beings like or appreciate about me? In my opinion, what are my greatest strengths? Anything that helps you to get to know yourself better makes it easier to appear authentically and increases our social intelligence – and incidentally also brings us a little more clarity for ourselves personally. Speaking of …
Clarity
By clarity Michael Thompson means the ability to express yourself clearly and understandably – and to convey to other people as precisely as possible what you want to say. Of course, a good feeling for language and an approximate idea of how language actually works help here. Anyone who puts correct grammar or correct word formation in conversation above the effect of their own formulations may have a good feeling for language – but obviously not the slightest idea of communication.
To explain it with an example: would-be know-it-alls sometimes claim that the expression “super-GAU” would be wrong because the acronym GAU stands for “greatest possible accident” and the prefix “super” as an increase would be logically unnecessary or even inadmissible. But if we only hear the word “GAU”, it doesn’t sound nearly as dramatic or alarming as the term “super-GAU”. What we are describing is usually extremely dramatic and alarming. With the supposedly correct term GAU, we do not achieve the desired effect, that is, we do not trigger an adequate idea in our counterpart. No matter how correct the term is in theory, in practice it is disadvantageous because it does not generate any clarity. The same applies to “preprogrammed” versus “programmed” and many other formulations that only people would describe as errors who lack social intelligence and communication skills. Because whoever has these skills, puts Clarity above useless rules without hesitation and relies on their own sense of language – instead of being brought into doubt and stagnation by people who are only interested in correcting others.
empathy
Empathy is possibly the most important pillar of social intelligence. It is about the ability to empathize with other people, to adopt or understand their perspective, and to sincerely take part in their feelings. Just like authenticity, empathy also requires a healthy level of self-confidence, because without this we are usually so preoccupied with ourselves and our deficiencies that we cannot get involved with others at all. In order to build empathy, it makes sense to try to develop more respect for people – for others as well as yourself. Every single person has something unique to contribute and deserves that we take them seriously and respond to them. Without mutual respect and empathy, our society would fall apart and we would not be the people we are. In this respect, we can be happy and grateful that a certain amount of social intelligence is obviously already given to most of us.