Friends for ever?
5 things that are normal in friendships but always cause drama
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Love relationships come and go, friends last forever. After all, we swore to each other in the poetry books we passed around in third grade. Somehow nobody thought that friendships are also relationships.
Linda Berger
A lot is said about relationships. How we take care of them, how we talk to each other, what closeness and distance look like, what we can do in conflicts without going for each other’s throats, how we strengthen them or just end them. We expect friendships, on the other hand, to just run. This type of relationship is much more enduring than romantic ones, less conflictual (most of the time) and with fewer expectations (usually too) of what a person should fulfil. But even if there is no claim to exclusivity in friendships as in partnerships, stumbling blocks such as jealousy, envy and injuries also exist here, but we don’t talk about them that much. A reason for us to take a closer look at what is actually totally normal in friendships, but what nobody talks about.
1. Friendships take work.
Unfortunately true: Here too there are good and bad times, misunderstandings and, of course, arguments from time to time. Everything is not always rosy, sunny easy going. A friendship also needs care, attention, open ears, understanding and consideration.
2. Joy and envy
Your girlfriend moves into a family home on the outskirts of town with her newly wed husband, is successful in her job, all that’s missing is a dog, child and cone. And you? You still live in your dorm room, when it comes to love things are going rather bumpy. Actually, you once had the same dream, now you feel kind of left behind, but of course you’re happy for her too. Every feeling has its justification, just because you would like to have what she has doesn’t mean that you still treat her wholeheartedly and are happy for her.
3. Conflicts and disappointments
They are part of it. The question is how we deal with it. Self-reflection and exchange are the keys here. And sometimes a few days of radio silence or a bottle of wine together.
4. Connectedness
It’s not always the same strength. It is totally normal that there are phases in which we feel closer to each other and phases in which we distance ourselves from each other.
5. Break up
It also includes ending friendships. Sometimes we just grow apart and don’t fit together anymore.
we love friendship
Good, healthy friendships don’t just happen to us. We build them, develop them further, grow together and forgive mistakes. It’s basically like romantic relationships, except that when it comes to friendships, we kind of think they don’t involve effort. Strangely enough, romantic love relationships are still at the center of our existence. Friendships are usually so much more stable. Is it about closeness? physicality? The feeling of love? Or just the notions of how we’re supposed to live that we’re so used to that we feel incomplete without a romantic relationship? But what we should do in any case: value our friendships and not take them for granted, because they are by no means.