psychology
5 things you’re blind to when you’re in an unhealthy relationship
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Unhealthy relationships mostly affect our perception and world view. You can read here which things typically slip into the blind spot when we surround ourselves with people who harm us.
Whether partnership, friendship or family relationship, many people have experienced a relationship that was not good for them, that dragged them down and took their strength. Which was unhealthy or toxic in any way. Of course, there are varying degrees of unhealthy social connections, from overt abuse to unintentional devaluation, and some types of relationships may weigh less on us than others. At worst we get traumatized, at best we lose time and energy – but more often than not an unhealthy relationship takes away from our sight some things that are very, very important to our lives. For example …
5 things you become blind to when you’re in a toxic relationship
1. Your self worth
When we spend a lot of time with someone who isn’t good for us, it inevitably has a negative impact on our self-esteem. We develop self-doubt and think we have to pretend for the other. But the truth is: We are all unique and lovable for what we are and what makes us who we are. People who are right for us let us feel that.
2. Your circle of friends
Unhealthy relationships typically eat up so much time and energy that we neglect other relationships in our lives because of them. It is not uncommon for this to be related to the fact that people who are unhealthy for us demand a lot of attention from us, are jealous and not willing to integrate into our circle of friends. As a result, we forget or overlook that there are enough (other) people in our lives to whom we are important and with whom we like to be together because it feels easy and beautiful.
3. Your right to respect
People who aren’t good for us don’t always obviously treat us badly. As a rule, however, they lack basic respect, which can be expressed, for example, in not listening to us properly, in believing and implying that we do not deserve our successes, just luck, etc. Downplaying feelings can also be an expression of disrespect. When we now spend a lot of time with such people, we get used to it and forget that we are entitled to respect and appreciation from others – especially from people who are close to us and whom we allow to be a part of our lives.
4. Your independence
When we are in a toxic relationship, we usually have a subliminal feeling that something is wrong. Intuitively, we also somehow know that it affects this relationship, but we can rarely place it correctly. We think it’s up to us, we’re doing something wrong and we have to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. In doing so, we become so focused on this project, on this one connection to be repaired, that we attach ourselves and our self-worth to it and feel dependent on that person. What we completely shut out and forget in the course of this are all the things that we have already mastered in our lives. The choices we made and the consequences of which we dealt with. We forget that we are separate, independent people who are in charge of our own lives and can shape it according to our own ideas. Including excluding people who make us doubt it.
5. Your needs
For people who are not good for us, we almost always have to put our own needs aside. Whether they actively demand it or subtly command it through their manner and behavior, in an unhealthy relationship we give up what we need and what we want. In the long term, we forget how to perceive our needs at all. We forget e.g. B. What it’s like to feel that we need more space and to take it. Or that in a personal relationship we want confirmation and positive feedback and an interest in our thoughts.
Sources used: healthline.com, womenshealthmag.com