1. Life is unfair.
Even when we are born, things are unfair: we are simply born without being asked and cannot even choose our starting point. So it happens that some start life in top conditions that give them all the freedom to develop themselves – and others grow up under the toughest conditions that force them to struggle to survive.
It would be fair if everyone had the same opportunities, but life has no sense of justice – only we humans have it.
What is good about it: If any shit happens to us, it is not a punishment that we deserve or is our own fault, but (mostly) simple, unjust bad luck. A sudden shower of rain is not directed against you personally if it destroys your party outfit – shit just happens.
Also: Our time to shine! If the world is not itself fair, we can try to make it fairer!
2. Your life is of no greater importance to anyone than to you.
There are more than 7 billion people on earth and millions of species of other living things. Even if the greatest catastrophe or luck happens to you, it doesn't mean the least thing to the overwhelming majority of the existing.
What is good about it: We can relax: Even if we allow ourselves the stupidest embarrassment or the most annoying mistake, we will not do any really bad damage in most cases. From our perspective, everything that happens to us seems incredibly dramatic, and the world continues to move for more than 7 billion people.
3. You cannot keep anything you achieve.
No matter if they are beautiful memories, successes that you are proud of, deep relationships with people or material possessions – when you die, none of this is yours anymore.
What is good about it: We don't have to pick anything up! We can look forward to happy memories whenever we can wallow in them (otherwise they will fade over time). We don't have to be humble about our successes and wait for the right moment to be proud of us. And we should plunge wholeheartedly into our relationships and spend our money on things we enjoy – before it's too late.
4. There is no right way.
No matter how well you reflect on your decisions, weigh up all the options, and think through thirty-five different options – you will never be sure that you made the best choice.
Nobody knows the meaning of life. Is it our job to laugh as much as possible? Should we love as intensely as possible? Or should it be our goal to see as much of the world as possible? Nobody knows this – even if it often looks like many have a plan of where to go.
What is good about it: We cannot waste our lives or make them wrong. We don't have to earn our value and our place in the world by achieving any goals.
We are free to start with our life, whatever feels right for us. We can experiment and try ourselves. There are tools for a specific purpose for which they have to work. But we are not tools. We are human beings – it is in our nature to do our best.
5. You are dependent on others.
Whether it is about building self-esteem and self-confidence or about the practical way of life: We are always dependent on other people. With their feedback we learn to assess ourselves and our impact on the world. This is not to say that other people's opinions are crucial to our self-worth – but it does something to us, so we have to deal with it and learn how to behave.
In addition, as members of our society, we are practically dependent on others every day, for example when we are looking for a job, are hungry, need clothes, etc.
What is good about it: We can rely on other people and do not have to wander through life alone – because we are all in the same boat. It is precisely this pronounced social sense that has brought us so far as people: language, division of labor, art, leisure activities – none of this would be possible in such a pronounced manner without our crazy social structures.
6. You cannot rewind.
Happened and there is no going back. If we have said or done something that we regret afterwards, we have to deal with it – the past is immutable.
What is good about it: One worry less! We already have enough to do with shaping our present and future. Imagine that we also have to clean up our past – we'd go insane. We can calmly learn from our past without having to shape it.
7. Actually there is nobody who is there for you.
Yes, it seems like a contradiction at first: On the one hand, we are social beings and dependent on others, on the other hand, nobody is there for us. But what is meant is that everyone is primarily responsible for taking care of themselves. We cannot expect others to enforce our rights and interests.
If, out of modesty, we always wait for everyone else to take a piece of cake, we will never get one and get sad. We all have the same right to be noticed and valued, but we have to assert it ourselves – even if our relationships and our social structure can of course help. After all, there are also people who cannot take responsibility for themselves – others are of course at their side.
What is good about it: We have the right (and even the duty) to think of ourselves – because everyone does. Of course, we shouldn't step on anyone's feet while we enforce our interests. But if we don't take care of ourselves, we automatically expect other people – and basically THAT would be selfish. It is our job to make sure that we are doing well – not that of others. We don't always have to be humble and put back, because in truth we're not doing anyone a favor.