Being a parent is not easy and cannot be learned from books … and it sometimes happens that, despite all their good will, parents make mistakes with their children … Be careful, they are not all harmless and can have real influences on the youngest.
Yes, parents have their faults too. To prevent children from suffering, Tracy Hutchinson, therapist and columnist, explains on CNBC the 7 common mistakes parents make … which could be avoided.
1. Minimize your child’s feelings
Children are sensitive and curious, certain subjects touch them more than one might think! It is then necessary to let the child express his emotions and ask questions. “When parents tell their kids things like ‘don’t be so sad about it’ or ‘that’s okay,’ they’re sending the message that feelings don’t matter and it’s worth it. better to delete them ”, indicates the therapist.
What to do : Ask her child questions, try to put yourself in her shoes, ask her what would make her feel better. This method will teach your child to deal with their emotions better without your help.
2. Protect your child from failure
“As a parent, it’s hard to see our children struggling with challenges that we know we can easily solve for them”, underlines the expert. Even if you itch to not help him, you have to let him make his mistakes and get up on his own. Also, you won’t be able to be with him every moment of his life.
What to do : let his child learn from his mistakes so that they develop his perseverance and his mind.
3. Infantilize your child
Toddlers are cute and they know it! They know your weak spots and know how to crack you. But by dint of saying amen to everything, your child will no longer be disciplined. The solution ? You have to make him understand that you have to work to get what you want.
What to do : “Parents can teach their kids self-control by setting clear rules for things like finishing homework before screen time or doing chores to enrich their wallets (so they can buy things by themselves, knowing that they have deserved them) ”.
4. Put pressure on your child
It is human to want your child to do well in life and, above all, to be happy. But do not put too much pressure on your toddler’s shoulders, it could create complexes for him, such as loss of self-esteem and confidence later in life.
What to do : “Build your children’s mental toughness by making sure expectations are realistic. And even if your kids don’t meet them, the setbacks they face will still teach them valuable life lessons and how to be successful next time around ”, confides the therapist.
5. Make sure they still feel comfortable
Just like for adults, getting out of your comfort zone for a child remains difficult. Make new friends, try new foods, change a habit … its stages can make the child uncomfortable. But these uncomfortable situations are a part of life and you have to encourage your child to exceed his limits.
What to do : “Encourage your kids to try new things. Help them get started, because this is the hardest part. But once they take that first step, they might find that it’s not as hard as they thought – and that they might even be good at it! ”
6. Don’t set parent-child boundaries
Yes, the child needs to make decisions, test things and discover the world. But be careful, he must also listen to you when you say no.
What to do : “For example, if you set a curfew for your 12-year-old, make sure he or she sticks to it every night (or as much as possible)”, says Tracy Hutchinson.
7. Set a good example
Out of laziness or simple fatigue, it is tempting to let go. Like stopping healthy eating, stopping daily exercise, or not taking the time to rest well. But it is important to set an example for your child so that they develop good habits.
What to do : “For example, if you are stressed out from work, consider saying to your child, ‘I have had a very tiring day at work and I am going to relax with tea and a book.’”
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And above all, don’t forget, superheroes also have the right to be tired. The house can’t always be perfect, and morale can’t always be high. Leading by example is also showing that adults have their limits and that they can make mistakes like everyone else.
Suruthi SRIKUMAR
Suruthi is a writer for the Aufeminin, Parole de Mamans and Avis de Mamans websites. She is also Community Manager for Aufeminin Maman’s Facebook and Instagram social networks. She is also …