- "Orr, don't get in there so much!"
- "But you're also a drama queen!"
- "Why are you so upset about this?"
Do you seem familiar? Because you hear sentences like this regularly from your friend, BFF or sister? Then maybe we have something for you that will make your life a lot easier … (and surely your loved one ?)
How to avoid Reinsteiger with the 90-second rule
The neurologist Jill B. Taylor ("In one fell swoop: How a brain researcher discovered new dimensions of consciousness through her stroke") spent years studying how our brains work and, among other things, dealing with our emotions and their effects on our actions. She says: Most of our sensations subside after 90 seconds if we don't deal with them anymore.
Hence the 90-second rule: If you notice that you are getting angry because, for example, your girlfriend is REALLY late again or because ANY SINGLE POST has unscrewed the bell from the bike, count down from 90 and concentrate on calm, even breathing, Try not to think of the doorbell, and don't go over the number of times your girlfriend has kept you waiting lately. Just count and breathe … afterwards you should be calm enough to recognize: Getting excited now is absolutely useless, it just costs you energy. Shit happens, there are stupid pats and you can talk to your girlfriend much better if you have a clear head.
What the 90-second rule does NOT mean
Caution! The fact that we should give ourselves 90 seconds before we draw conclusions from our emotions does not mean that we do not have to learn to understand our feelings and ignore the signals from our psyche! For example, if we get upset about others, it tells us something about ourselves and therefore self-reflection is always valuable in such cases.
With the 90-second rule, we only train To endure spontaneous emotions, not to exaggerate them through our reviews and not to let us get them out of the way, This saves us energy and helps us to stay calm, but it also makes it easier for us to distinguish short-term feelings from deep feelings that have a message for us. We should only invest our strength in the latter, because they usually point out things that we can change ourselves.