After the first date: how was it ???
After the first date there are about three options:
- You're fired up and your butterflies in your stomach are going crazy!
- You had a good time and you're wondering if there could be more to it …
- You go through your thoughts again and again how great the effort would be to get you a new identity so that you never have to see this full post again.
Your first to-do after the first date is to be clear about which of these three options applies to you (most likely). How do you do that?
- Drink plenty of water,
- sleep over one night
- review the appointment in your mind's eye,
- listen to your intuition and at best
- understand your feelings …
Do they speak to you in half understandable sentences? Great, then you are able to act!
After the first date: you should know that now
When you've sorted yourself emotionally so far, the top rule for best practice is:
For love and getting to know each other there is no instruction manual with guaranteed success, so your inner voice is your best advisor and authentic your best option. To date, various dating rules have been passed on, such as: B.
- "the first step is always taken by the man",
- "wait three days after the first date until you get in touch" or
- "at the first meeting, definitely not in the box if something serious should come of it".
First, such rules are out of date, and second, there are enough exceptions to refute them. The only thing that is certainly correct:
- The sooner you register with your date partner after the first date, the more interested you will appear.
Do you write directly on the same day / eveningthat you met, the other will think "Wow, the spark jumped over like fireworks! Aaaaber: Is it really about me? Does she even know me? How much did we drink again …?"
Do you report? one day later, it’s more like "She slept over it once, collected herself, and then decided to contact me. Looks like I did everything right."
Are you waiting again? multiple daysBefore you give another sign of life, the other person is probably thinking something in that direction "She didn't think it was sooo great, otherwise she would have contacted me earlier …",
Just imagine which scenario you would like and orient yourself on it,
No-gos after the first date
Similar to the rules that you have to follow after the first date, the no-gos are manageable. Actions that we strongly advise against are:
- ghosting,
- get in touch while drunk or intoxicated,
- invite the Date partner to a meeting with the parents. (Although, depending on how well the date went, in exceptional cases it can even be clear – there is also something like love at first glance).
Ghosting, which means simply no longer reporting and disappearing like a ghost, is unfortunately very widespread and almost socially established to get rid of a person as comfortably as possible – but that doesn't make it right! Leaving someone in the dark is almost a must Trains mental torture, In any case, it makes it difficult for the person to leave the past behind. Ghosting is therefore definitely a trend that you should consciously oppose …
After the first date – and you don't want to see each other again
If you already know after your first date that nothing will become of you, you can confidently tell your date. At this point, he probably has no particularly strong feelings for you yet, your basket will at most scratch his confidence a little. If you are a considerate person and would like to keep the damage to a minimum, you simply pack your waste a bit nicely – but without giving him hope! You can e.g. B. write:
- "You are simply not my Type in other you can surely score more. "
- "Unfortunately, the spark didn't jump, but it was nice to have met you."
- "I have the feeling that we have completely different interests, it doesn't make sense to me that we get to know each other further."
Sure, you can also report back that your time is too precious to waste it with stupid, self-loving sneaks, but – what does that bring you …?
A WhatsApp or SMS is for one basket after the first date in any case an appropriate and practical medium. After all, you are not yet so close that you have to deliver the message personally. If you got to know each other online and didn't exchange any numbers, just write it to him in the chat.
After the first date – and you want to see each other again
If you are interested in seeing you again after your first date, there are different ways and ways to tell him – just choose the one that best suits your personality and with which you feel most comfortable. In any case, as I said, drunken actions rarely turn out to be clever ideas after a sober state and the time that you let pass is also very meaningful (see above). The three most common ways to contact us and their particularities are:
1. The call
If you can reach your date by phone, it has the advantage that you can get one straight away reaction get from him and conveyed about it a sense of how he or she feels about you, You can also talk directly, arrange a second date, etc. However, if you contact the voicemail forwarded – it would definitely be cooler (even if it's difficult) to speak on it than just to hang up. A short "Hey, it's me, I would be happy if you call back, you have a number"or something like that is enough and – whoops – the ball is with him!
2. The SMS
It is a bit old-fashioned, but since some people do not use online messengers on principle, we sometimes have no other choice – and the good old short message also serves its purpose. The advantage compared to a call is that you can think longer and try out different variants (of which, of course, you only send the best one!).
3. A WhatsApp (or similar)
It is similar to the SMS, but has the advantage that you can (usually) see whether the recipient has read your message or whether he has been online since the message was sent was. Basically, you get a very weakened form of a reaction:
He reports back quickly, it seems important to him not to keep you waiting long (so you seem to be important to him).
However, it takes longer.
- is he either busy and wants to take the time to answer you
- don't know what to say to you or
- he doesn't care how long he keeps you waiting.
Admittedly, this only helps you to a limited extent in the second case, but at least you are not quite in the air like with a text message. You can also send voice messages via WhatsApp if writing is not your thing.
Tips for texting:
- Read your text out loud before you send it off. Sounds good, natural and like you? Then get out!
- You don't need to position yourself big and write how you found the evening. If you just make it clear that you are interested in a second date, that says enough. (e.g .: "Hi, it was super funny yesterday, I would like to repeat it! Greetings, S.")
In any case, regardless of whether you call, send a WhatsApp or send a racing pigeon, the following applies:
- Just get in touch once – then your date is on.
If you have to follow up and run after the first date, this is not a particularly good starting point. And if the other person even ghosts you, he doesn't deserve you and your energy anyway!
Want to read more about dating and dating? We give you tips on how to prepare for your first date, find answers to the questions "How does he fall in love with me?" and "First date – where can you go?" and find out what qualities make a dream woman. And you can certainly clarify everything else in our community in exchange with others.