Domestic violence can be physical or sexual violence, psychological violence or economic violence, as explained on the Public Service government website. On average, the number of women aged 18 to 74 who, over the course of a year, are victims of physical, sexual and/or psychological violence committed by their spouse or ex-spouse, is estimated at 321,000 women. It is therefore essential to know how to spot abusive behavior. In a video posted on Tik Tok, American psychologist Julie Smith shared 6 telltale signs of an abusive romantic relationship.
What are the signs of an abusive relationship?
In her video, the psychologist discusses six methods of manipulating an abusive partner which should alert you if you are experiencing them within your relationship.
Your partner isolates you from those around you
It’s not normal for your partner to not want to let you see your friends or family. The psychologist explains that it is an isolation technique which aims to “remove any external perspective”. So, your partner’s speech is the only one you hear, and no one can open your eyes to your relationship.
Your partner has very changeable behavior
Is the person you are in a relationship with capable of going from affectionate behavior to aggressive behavior from one minute to the next? An attitude considered confusing by the expert, because it is very difficult to know what the person’s true face is, but also whether you are in a healthy relationship or not.
It hurts your self-confidence
If your partner constantly criticizes you, and believes that you are never good enough, this should alarm you. Indeed, in the context of an abusive romantic relationship, the person you are in a relationship with may seek to devalue you. “by destroying your own confidence in your intelligence and abilities” as the psychologist explains. This loss of self-confidence may even make you wonder if you can do it without him.
Your partner puts pressure on you about your spending
As part of an abusive relationship, some people can be victims of economic violence. “Sometimes abusive partners monitor your spending and even limit your access to your own money.”, indicates the specialist. Toxic behavior which makes your departure very complicated.
He threatens to harm himself or you
Threatening and intimidation are hallmarks of an abusive relationship. According to the psychologist, “When your partner threatens you with violence, he or she uses that to control you and prevent you from leaving.” This type of behavior should immediately make you react and alert you.
Your partner makes you promises of change
When the situation escalates, your partner apologizes and promises to change and return to the person they were at the beginning of your relationship. In this case, the abuse is replaced by the charm and love you saw at the beginning of the relationship. Which leads you to believe that the situation can get better and he won’t do it again.
If you are the victim of an abusive relationship, it is essential to find external support to talk about it and free yourself from your partner’s influence. You can also contact 3919 in the event of domestic violence.
@drjulie 👉Look out for the last one. It’s a common trap. For those who find themselves wanting to leave a relationship and blaming themselves for finding it hard to break away, it’s never been as easy as you tell yourself it should be. If your partner is using any combination of these manipulations, you will be more isolated, vulnerable, and confused about how best to proceed. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because that is the effect these behaviors have on most people. Finding some form of support outside of the relationship is crucial. It helps you to get a wider perspective on the relationship. Doing that on your own is not easy. That person might be a trusted friend or family member or a professional. Learning about these types of behavior can help you to spot them while they are happening and to see them for what they are. Feel free to share if you feel it could help someone ❤️ 👉More from me in my million copy bestselling book – Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? (Currently -50% see link in bio). Filled with insights from therapy about how to deal with real life problems. Available in over 40 languages.
Additional source:
- Domestic violence – Public Service government site