According to psychologists: That’s why we blaspheme + it fulfills this social function

psychology
That’s why we like to gossip so much – and it’s even good for us

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Gossip is like the glue of many friendships. But why do we like to talk about others so much? Science has the answers – and reveals why gossip even fulfills important social functions.

We all do it, some more often than others. And at the same time, we all kind of condemn it too – the gossip. Sometimes we gossip about someone out of revenge, sometimes to make ourselves feel better or because we are insecure. However, gossiping does not always mean that we behave badly or are even bad people. Because science agrees that talking about others also fulfills certain functions in social groups. In most cases, it even has an important effect: we feel very connected to the person we are blaspheming with.

In his book Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language, British psychologist and anthropologist Robin Dunbar explains how important gossip is to social groups. It strengthens bonds and even helped our ancestors survive. Because of this social connection they could get important and necessary information. So gossiping is like networking par excellence.

That’s how important gossiping was to the development of our language

In addition to the aspect of social bonding, gossip also had another evolutionary effect – it promoted language development. This is how our ancestors developed and expanded their vocabulary – Robin Dunbar even sees it as the origin of language. Gossiping is said to have replaced the grooming of their ancestors, the chimpanzees, in the Stone Age. The monkeys used the mutual plucking of their fur to socialize and cultivate relationships. However, because the first humans were wandering around in groups that were too large for this and this “grooming” was not an option, according to Dunbar, they should have started talking instead, including about others, to strengthen the feeling of togetherness.

Science has always been concerned with the subject of gossip. For example, the US university University of California in one meta-analysis examined a total of five studies – with exciting results. Women are often accused of being the biggest blasphemers. According to the researchers, men gossip just as much. Younger people participate in rumor-spreading more often than older people, and unsurprisingly, extroverts are more active in gossip than introverts.

Social glue: why we like to gossip so much

In another study has dr Stacy Torres also accompanied elderly people in New York for over five years for the University of California. The psychologist found that gossiping acts as a remedy against loneliness among seniors, especially those who live alone.

Instead of joining organizations like the church, people prefer to stay in their neighborhood groups. Clapping helps them connect with others and build connections. Because often gossip is simply an attempt to start a conversation with another person and build closeness. It may not always be the noblest of ways, but it is deeply human behavior.

Why it’s okay to gossip – sometimes

Both studies make it clear that most people gossip at some point in their lives, and it serves important social purposes. Then why does gossiping have such a bad reputation? Probably because we still associate it with aggressiveness. Often, when we gossip about a person or a group, we vent our anger – it quickly becomes nasty.

But in the end, that is exactly an advantage: Because instead of letting out this anger with physical violence in the worst case, it evaporates when we discuss the topic with a good friend or a colleague. And after that, we might not find the whole thing so bad anymore and the next time we meet, the person will be in a more forgiving mood. After all, that’s better than gorging on our anger and then throwing it at the other person with full force – whether physically or verbally. Then it’s better to blaspheme properly in a safe space beforehand and then tick off the topic. And we feel even closer to the person we were gossiping with.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to question your own gossip behavior and to look at how much you talk about others, in what way and above all: why. As with so many things in life, when it comes to gossip, the dose makes the poison. Those who constantly gossip should honestly ask themselves whether they just want to feel better about themselves. In moderation, however, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages: Gossiping helps our social bonds, is an important tool in maintaining relationships – and is also evolutionarily important for the further development of our language!

Sources used: psychologytoday.com, gedankenwelt.com, Robin Dunbar “Grooming, Gossip and the Evolution of Language”

Bridget

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