ADHD relationship: How ADHD shows up in partnerships – and which dynamic rules help

ADHD in partnerships
Important dynamic rules for more harmony in the relationship

© bnenin / Adobe Stock

ADHD in partnerships is more common than one might think at first. The crazy thing: Some couples only notice after a while that some problems in relationships have their origin there, others never. It is all the more important to make the topic visible and to explain which dynamic rules can help in conflict situations.

Estimate question: how many people in Germany do you think have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD for short? Spoilers: There are more than you probably have in mind, but more on that at the end of the text. A possible explanation might be the context in which we think about it. Love life is rarely considered, “because we usually talk about ADHD in a managerial context: school, training, work,” explains journalist Angelina Boeger, who was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago.

However, it is always important to emphasize that ADHD – like many other mental illnesses – cannot be generalized. All Relationships and people are individual and accordingly is also each Relationship problems subjective consider. Yet there is typical behavior and resulting problems. Certain dynamic rules can structure in everyday relationships bring and help the stabilize relationship or to reduce the potential for conflict.

How does ADHD affect the relationship in everyday life?

The Symptoms of ADHD are pretty broadthey all have in common, however, that they are both the behavior and the impair functional abilities and it can lead to numerous difficulties in everyday life. These can be, for example, in emotional lability, Stress resistance, clutter, self-doubt and express disturbed social interactions. In most cases, this not only has an impact on the person concerned, but also on that Environment and the relationship partners.

Dynamic rules in ADHD

  1. First of all, it is important that both partners are equally active in the design of these rules involved. Why is that important? Because this creates an understanding of the concerns and problems of the other person. It sounds like one stupid phrasehowever is communication indeed the greatest of all keys. who his emotions to the outside carries has a much higher probability of occurring clarity, understanding and acceptance. Once established, such dynamic rules can help improve the flow of energy within the partnership.
  2. It is also important that there is a willingness on both sides, even if that means that you may have to step back from time to time. The person with ADHD must learn to take responsibility for their actions and to listen. In return, the partner must be patient, understand and try to understand the – sometimes erratic – train of thought. Even if that isn’t always easy. In short: willingness to compromise.
  3. People with ADHD are very volatile and life is often marked by mood swings. Those affected usually have two faces, are very supportive on the one hand, but can also get stuck in a downward spiral of dark thoughts the next moment out of the blue. What helps particularly well is routine. Finding a structure for regular conversations, going through different communication options, developing problem-solving strategies together. This strengthens the bond.

To resolve the estimation question at the beginning: How the diagnostic system for mental disorders (DSM 5) compared to the information portal adhs.info tells suffer about 2.5 percent of the adult population has ADHD. Another representative study suggests that about 4.7 percent of adult Germans have ADHD. Approximately 70 percent of those affected who are diagnosed as children and adolescents still show individual symptoms and impairments even without fully completing the ADHD criteria.

Conclusion: Partnerships with ADHD require a lot of work from both sides – but it is worth it. With patience, understanding and a willingness to compromise, couples can make good progress. With dynamic rules as a basis, you can create a stable base – both emotional and practical – to master everyday life and at the same time ensure more harmony in the relationship. If you’re not sure if you have ADHD, you can get tested. This is best done by a specialist doctor.

Sources used: praxis-neuy.de, Deutschlandfunknove.de, adhs-info

Bridget

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