Pubescent children
10 things teenagers love their parents for
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Oh yes, pubescent children are not always easy – after all, they like to give parents the impression that they are doing everything wrong. Don’t worry: they secretly love some of the things we do, but also.
It is a time that many parents are scared of: At birth it still looks miles away, but as you already know as a parent, time is running out. And suddenly she knocks on the door: puberty. How, my child is already a teen? Wasn’t it still in the baby seat? Many parents may catch themselves with this thought after their child has slammed the door in their faces for the first (or more) time.
No trace of old cuteness anymore. Instead, teenagers like to make their parents feel like they can’t do anything right during puberty. We cannot relieve you of the puberty of children – but we can do this immediately. Because just because the little rioters find everything and everyone unjust doesn’t mean that it is the same. On the contrary: if we listen deeply to ourselves, we should remember that even at the age of 14 you could hardly please us. After all, we were all teenagers at one point or another.
And even if your pubescent child gives you the impression that you are doing everything wrong, there is a high probability that you are not doing it at all. On the contrary: There are a few things teenagers love about their parents – even if they don’t always want to admit it.
10 things teenagers love their parents for
1. Eat together
As uncool as family meals may seem, it gives teenagers tremendous security, especially in turbulent times. You feel cared for and have a home with fixed rituals and structures. Even when they complain about the food.
2. Remember friends
Friendships are more important than ever during puberty. As a mom (or dad) it’s easy to lose track of things – but if you memorize the names of friends and ask what’s going on with them, you not only find out the latest gossip, but also show them at the same time real interest in teen bubble life.
3. Take it seriously & listen
Yes, many teen problems seem inflated years later. But let’s remember: you felt pretty serious. Let’s take it that way too. Listening without judgment is one thing that teenagers not only love their parents dearly for, but one that builds confidence.
4. Show weakness
Sometimes as a parent you have the feeling that the children no longer want to show any weakness – because mom doesn’t understand them anyway. Let’s show them the opposite! When parents talk about problems from their youth, you immediately feel as if you are in the same boat.
5. Offer advice
That brings us to the next advantage: if Dad has already gone through the problems, he also knows that there is usually a solution. Anyone who still manages to offer his non-binding advice not know-it-all but rather cautiously has won!
6. Allow privacy
We used to be able to walk into the room without thinking, now the door is often closed. Let’s respect the new private sphere – many teenagers quickly feel constricted that their home should still be a place of retreat where they also have time to themselves.
7. Trust
Leaving freedom also means trusting. When teenagers know that their parents trust them, they will not want to lose that freedom – and will obey rules of their own accord.
8. Be your biggest fan
Puberty is that nasty time in which one doubts everyone and everything – but above all oneself. The task of us parents: to live out what we are anyway, namely the biggest fan of our children. Appreciation for hobbies and decisions is the cornerstone of support that children need for healthy self-confidence.
9. Spend time together
Even if mom and dad are suddenly uncool – most of them are still happy about time together, without siblings or another parent. Let’s let the teenagers take the reins in hand where we’re going. Much more profound conversations often arise in familiarity. In this way, a nice friendship can develop between child and parent at the same time during puberty.
10. Cuddle & let your child be
In the end, children always remain children. It’s the same even for adults with their parents. So: let’s leave them. Let’s cuddle them, even if they turn away in disgust, let’s be silly and give them a little childhood before puberty wants to spoil them!