When the biscuit speaks, Annette Frier and Barbara will obediently follow its messages. Well – no. Instead, the two go online and scream with happiness.
Barbara: Annette! Actually, this is supposed to be a conversation about happiness, and I couldn’t imagine a better conversation partner than you.
Annette: But?
I have to start with misfortune: Have you gotten over your Pierre Littbarski trauma?
No. jeez
We have to explain that to the readers: When you were about twelve years old, you adored 1. FC Köln.
I still do today. At that time, but especially for their players Littbarski. I was adamant that it would be for his best if we both were friends, and I wrote to him about it. With fixed appointment suggestions as to when I could meet him after school.
How did he react?
Not at all.
Oh.
I waited for an answer every day, nothing happened, and I pretended at the dinner table that I didn’t mind. But inside…
I know. I remember it very well: You’re never as vulnerable as you were between the ages of twelve and 17, and terrible things happen to you then.
And the best things – but that’s so easy to forget. And has that actually changed?
How do you mean?
Take Instagram for example. You post something after a performance and dozens of people write: “You’re doing great!”, “You look great!”, “Thanks for the nice evening!” – but then there’s that one comment: “I haven’t seen that stupid trulla for ten years…” And that one damn comment will keep you busy all next day and forget the good ones.
Me too. Isn’t that weird? Because seriously: so much good has happened to both of us in this millennium, we are great in business, have no lack of recognition and are now of the age for a certain composure – and still touch us if someone anonymously misses.
This is something very profound: on the one hand we have this eternal desire for recognition, on the other hand we are constantly on the lookout for danger. People are afraid and they arm themselves against it. I’ve actually been fascinated by the question of how to discard these weapons for a long time. If someone throws a knife at you, how nice would it be to say: I don’t give a damn, it’s just rubber.
And yet, to get the curve right now, I am firmly convinced that both of our cases can be said to be fortunate, partly by ourselves, partly by other people, partly by the favor of the universe.
Yes, it’s very lucky. It was like that for me from the start, I felt extremely secure even as a child. As an adult, I noticed that this is really rare. There was this one situation at drama school: We students were supposed to write down a bad experience from childhood and also talk about it. So I wrote and then listened to what the others had experienced – the most violent, traumatic things, at some point I cried snot and water.
And then it was your turn.
And I said I’d rather not present mine right now.
But you had to.
Sure, no chance of mercy. My story went like this: When I was five years old, I went to the carnival in a baby costume, and I was absolutely convinced that I had the coolest disguise.
Let me guess: The costumes won awards.
Right. The third place was called, the second – both times someone else, of course – and when it said “First place goes to…” I was already on my way to the front.
Sorry if I laugh in the middle of your childhood trauma, but this is sooo funny already…
I didn’t think so when “the jecke cowboy” was declared the winner. But then!
I am excited!
I ran right out of the hall, my big sister after me, and she asked me, “Annette, what’s the matter?” I sobbed through trembling lips about no first prize. And what does my amazing sister say?
N / A?
“That’s not true! You’re also in first place, you just ran away too fast, that’s why you didn’t notice it anymore!” Isn’t that great? Sabine found the only lever to give me a happy ending in this matter.
Nice. But right now I’m just imagining the people at drama school. If that was the worst possible accident of your childhood…
They were all stunned, well, what should I do. Of course, like all of us, I have experienced completely different injuries, but this one came to mind spontaneously. But I also know examples of many happy people who had scary childhoods. So how do you actually measure happiness? What are the parameters?
You’re asking the right person, because I have internet and I’ve done some research.
Can you specify this research?
Of course: I clicked on the first hit on Google for “happiness”. Accordingly, there are four factors for a happy life. Shall we go through these together?
Oh yes!
Happiness factor one: health.
OK. How’s it going with you there?
I just had a full check up. It turned out that I am raising the health average for all of West Berlin. And honestly, I only live on organic stuff and haven’t had a Fanta since 1986 – if that wasn’t reflected in the values, I would have gotten pretty pissed off.
But how nice, that with the values.
The doctor was definitely impressed. I only had to do the colonoscopy twice. I hadn’t taken the “don’t eat before” thing that seriously… Anyway. Anyway, now I’m pushing everyone in even more penetratingly, how bomb my cholesterol level is.
Then I don’t want to talk about my cholesterol level, please. What else would we have? Oh yes, there’s something: Since the first day of lockdown I’ve had a hip thing on the left side…
Little pinch? I think it’s still okay. So health: check! Happiness factor two would then be relationships. I can present it right away.
And how?
By saying: There is no alternative to my relationship with my husband. To have found a person with whom you are absolutely sure that you don’t want to be with someone else because of him or her – at least not for a long time – is an important realization for me.
Well! I haven’t seen my husband in a few days now, and you know what? I can’t wait to go to his house. And that after 20 years. That says it all I think.
But he also looks insanely good.
He’s really handsome. Sometimes he’s a bit childish, but overall he’s a very nice person, and I don’t think that’s unimportant. I think we can tick that box too: We’re both very lucky on a relationship level.
OK. Let’s get to the happiness factor three: job.
well Every word is forbidden here. If you have so much luck, if so many fortune cookies fly out of your face purely professionally, then you should collect them, eat them up and be happy about getting fat.
That, uh, is a pretty lopsided picture now.
But we know what is meant. Factor four, please.
Willingly. It’s, wait a minute… Ah, here: freedom.
Oh. Interesting. I would have expected more friendship, but of course freedom is also exciting.
That’s correct. Especially when you think about what comes first. So: does freedom make you happy? Or is it more like happiness makes you free?
It would be nice if you could explain that now.
I think the more comfortable you are in your own body, in your own life, the braver you are. And so you do and say things that you would not have dared to do before, because you feel a protection that luck gives you.
Ah okay. Is there something to it? When my father died much too early in 2003, I didn’t feel well for a year, and then I sniffed at this helplessness. That was the first major turning point, and yes, the misfortune caught me. But I was just thinking about a different kind of freedom.
Namely?
How lucky we are to have been born into this country. Where you actually have the freedom to think and say anything, that’s what we’ve seen in the past year and a half. No one has been arrested for what he or she said publicly. For me, freedom also means being able to work the way I want, in an environment that I can choose.
So here too: check. Hook to Freedom.
It’s crazy how often the jackpot has rung for both of us in the last hour. You have to imagine us both as happy people.
But when are you the happiest?
Look, I’ve had a long day, it’s nine thirty on Friday night, I’m 500 kilometers from home. But it’s so great and fun with you, we have a great time together and I’m doing extremely well right now. Is this luck already? I don’t know, I don’t give a damn either, I just know: It’s definitely the opposite of unhappiness, and I get to experience that very often in my life.
A few years ago, I had a conversation like you did today with Robbie Williams. He said he would trade happiness for contentment at any time.
Interesting. That’s a good basic condition and important for such an extreme guy as Robbie, who also struggled with addictions for a long time. Spontaneously it is not enough exuberant for me.
I’m also more the type for unconditional euphoria. I know people who answer the question of how they are doing: We are satisfied. Honestly, this is completely unacceptable to me. I love it when people are excited for no reason!
I can understand that very well, I also think escalation is great and when things get out of hand. But then you can certainly answer your own question. The one after the happiest moment.
I was actually asked that recently.
What did you say?
I said: swimming in a lake in Sweden in the summer. Then I took a short break and added: Naked. And do you know who asked me that?
N / A?
Elon Musk.
whoops
It was in a group of about 40 men and I couldn’t resist planting an image in their minds.
And let’s be honest: such a lake in Sweden is cold, you come into contact with strange water plants, at some point you have to get out shivering… I doubt if that’s really luck. But you made these 40 men who laughed themselves sick at you very happy at that moment.
And Elon Musk.
And that’s exactly what it’s all about: to pass on a bit of luck. Even to Elon Musk.