Annoyed by the job – go or stay?

It is often like this: We are constantly playing with the idea of ​​exciting alternatives, dreaming of new jobs or becoming self-employed – and enduring the uncomfortable situation every day in real life.
"This consumes a lot of energy and does not lead to anything," says self-coaching expert Stefanie Demann and advises: "If you keep thinking that the job actually doesn't or doesn't fit you anymore, or if you're irritable when you get to the next one Working day thinks you should do something. "
But what? You can't just throw everything away when the job is boring or your colleagues are annoying. After all, the money has to come from somewhere. And anyway: Who knows if we really get happier when we go? To sort these arguments and come up with a solution, all you need is a few smart questions, paper, pen and some time. And you should know a few common stumbling blocks that can occur when solving job problems. The following:

• "Man, I'm stupid!" Self-coaching is all about listening to yourself and appreciating what you discover. Even the difficult and what you would really like to have different.

• "I just want to change this one thing." What is important is the willingness to change a little bit yourself, if something should go differently than before.

• "It's going so slowly!" Coaches know that a coaching hour often works in the person for many months before something really changes. So be patient with yourself and your overall development.

• "Self-coaching makes me better and better." Self-coaching is not self-optimization. You don't automatically get better at the job, you become more authentic.

• "Only a perfect solution is a good solution!" It is much more important that you start at all. In addition: there is usually no perfect solution at all, but many clever ways.

EXERCISE: Force field method

Simple plus-minus lists often don't help to make a good decision. Because some pluses simply weigh heavier than some minus. The "force field method" is more effective, in which each option is assessed individually and the eponymous tension field of the individual aspects becomes clear. Demann tells of an architect who found out that it was not the new boss that was the reason for her dissatisfaction, but the changed responsibilities in the office. She sought the interview, negotiated a more interesting job profile and is happy again today. Demann: "Because all views, feelings and inner voices are heard with the method, you leave the black-and-white thinking and new possibilities become visible."

Make the following list and fill it out:

When you have written down all the important thoughts, you can also check whether there are points that are more important to you than others. Mark this. Also useful: At the end of the exercise, express your feeling for each of the options again in concrete words: "When I stay, I feel …" / "When I leave, I feel …"

Stefanie Demann is a coach, an expert in self-coaching, and gives workshops on this topic. She has written several books, including a. the bestseller "30 Minuten Selbstcoaching" (96 pages, 8.90 euros, Gabal).

Do you want more mindfulness in everyday life? You can find more articles on the subject here. -> mindfulness