Are you a sapiophile? If in love, you do not pay attention to the physical, perhaps you are …

In August 2019, the Minister Delegate for Citizenship, Marlène Schiappa, gave an interview to the Sunday newspaper. She explained that she was sapiophile, or sapiosexual. The politician would be attracted only by intelligent people … A term which adds to all the plurality of sexual orientations, but which seems difficult to identify. Indeed, how can we define intelligence? By the general culture of a person? Is sapiophilia then something of an elitist intellectual? History to avoid labels and preconceived ideas, some explanations are in order.

What is sapiophilia?

Popularized during the 90s, the terms “sapiosexual” and “sapiophilia” are neologisms formed with the word “sapiens”, which comes from Latin meaning “intelligence.” Social networks and dating sites have also made it possible to identify sapiosexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right. In 2014, the dating app OKCupid included sapiophilia in its list of sexual orientation.

Claire Alquier, sex therapist interviewed by aufeminin, explains: “Sapiosexuality is the fact of being sexually or sentimentally attracted to people that we will consider intelligent or educated. By this term, we express a sexual preference for what we identify as intelligence. . It’s a factor of excitement. “ Claire Alquier confirms it aufeminin: intellectualism is therefore an erotic criterion for sapiosexuals. Moreover, very often, it is just as powerful as beauty, or even more: “Usually, people who are sapiosexual will say that they don’t pay attention to an individual’s physical attraction, gender, social status, or age. It doesn’t matter or don’t matter. On the other hand, what matters is what the sapiosexual person will identify as intelligence in their potential partners. “, she adds.

To see also: Toxic relationship: what are the signs you should know?

Sapiophilia, a contemptuous sexual orientation really?

Some people take a dim view of this keen attention to intelligence. In an article from New York Times, published in August 2019, in reaction to the sapiosexual coming out of Marlène Schiappa, the journalist Hilary Rose did not mince words. According to her, “it shows how the French can be pedantic”, with their “propensity to intellectualize everything.”

For Claire Alquier, however, these words must be measured: “I am convinced that among the people who say they are sapiosexual, not all have the same criterion of level of intelligence vis-à-vis their potential partners.”, she explains, defending subjective intelligence criteria specific to each person: “After all, why not? We can just as easily be excited by an object, parts of the body, scenarios…”, explains the sex therapist before alerting: “On the other hand, what can be problematic is exposing his sapiosexuality to the risk that the other does not feel intelligent.e, and therefore not attractive.e. From the moment we avoid that, I I want to say that we can have all the criteria that we are happy with. “

To see also: A little, a lot, madly, not at all: are you sapiosexual?

Intelligence, a definition specific to everyone, including sapiosexuals

There is therefore no need to have a bac + 10 to seduce a sapiosexual person. Far from there. Because, according to Claire Alquier, the intelligence criteria are not necessarily fixed: “Each person who identifies as sapiosexual has a different way of living it. Sometimes it can be studies, but also of lifestyle, choices or experiences crossed by the potential partners who will be qualified as intelligent. Intelligence, again, is subjective. “

A study carried out in 2017 at University of Western Australia goes in this direction. It shows that being sapiosexual does not mean that one pretends to detect intelligence in others. In addition, by interviewing 383 students, men and women, aged 18 to 35, the researchers concluded that people who said they were attracted above all by intelligence did not necessarily have a Very high IQ.

During an interview with Madame Figaro in 2015, Adrien, sapiosexual, confided to be excited by the “capacity for deduction and the way of being in the world. (…) Verbal emulation can be a preliminary, and turns out to be very erogenous, but intellectual curiosity is also a lever for experimenting with other things under the duvet. ” Nothing to do with the IQ, and Chantal Bachelet-Pruneau, also a sex therapist, believes it hard as iron: “It is above all in emotional intelligence and in the effort to transmit that the relationship will be forged. It is a symbiosis between the mind, body and heart.”

Finally, whether intelligence is defined by the knowledge of others, his openness or his education, sapiosexuality would have “something tolerant, open and respectful. This would allow all the uniqueness of each person to be expressed”, concludes Claire Alquier. What could be sexier than taking into account all the complexity and diversity of human intelligence? And that’s what sapiophilia is all about.

Melanie Bonvard

Mélanie deciphers pop culture from a societal angle and questions the female gaze in films or even series, because everything is a question of gaze, she …