quarrel with parents
5 things parents do to drive their adult children crazy
Mothers and daughters in particular clash on many points throughout their lives.
Even as adults, children and parents can clash quite violently – often because old patterns are retained over the years. Here are the five things that most often cause conflict between generations.
There are things that just never change. The April weather is changeable every year, whether trains really run on time is a matter of luck – and parents and children never stop having more or less big differences of opinion. How are we all supposed to stop this? After all, every generation was born with this from the earliest childhood and cannot simply be turned off just because we have suddenly grown up ourselves.
Quarrel with parents – who is really to blame now?
Of course, the nature of the conflicts shifts over time – only in a few cases do children continue to fight long after they have reached majority because they do not want to go to bed yet. But the toddler classic “Just tidy up your room”? This transitions seamlessly into skeptical looks when parents later visit their children in the house or apartment and have different ideas about order or cleanliness. Depending on the family, this can lead to passive-aggressive comments like “You guys really don’t have much time to take care of the house with your jobs?”, or promptly to an authoritarian frontal attack along the lines of “Why is it so bumpy here, I taught you better!”. And parents and children promptly see red – and do a round in the dance that they have been practicing together since kindergarten days.
Particularly critical: educational issues and personal boundaries
Of course, grown-up children no longer want to be talked down into their lives from above – especially not when it comes to the upbringing of their own children, which of course often deviates from the ideal of the grandparents. So what to do? There are families who have actually accomplished the feat of fundamentally reorganizing the parent-child relationship over the years and communicating with each other on an equal footing. Perhaps their secret is that they themselves have noticed how often there are arguments about the same issues over and over again – and at some point they agreed on new rules of the game. In the video you can see five points that often lead to heated discussions between grown-up children and their parents and could perhaps be a good impetus for better interaction.
Source used: Psychology Today