Arguing without arguments: this is how you still win


Sometimes you just have a feeling, no arguments at all. Never mind. In the end, you don't have to end up as a meaningless Keifnudel …

Arguing is an art in itself. But it gets really tricky when, to be honest, you don't have any real arguments, but just a feeling that it can't go like this. How should you explain that a certain look from your husband makes you mad or why your in-laws shouldn't take the children on vacation for 14 days.

With these five tips you can get through these waters without your counterpart noticing that you have no arguments (or – as in the case of the in-laws – prefer to keep them to yourself out of kindness)

1. Don't be abusive

Yes, we know: the fewer arguments we have, the more likely we are to lose our composure. Unfortunately, your counterpart knows that (at least unconsciously) too. Even children can feel it. So take out your gear and take a deep breath. Whoever stays calm wins.

2. Listen carefully and address weaknesses in the other person's argument (even if it is a bit nasty)

Admittedly, not a nice move, but if it's really important not to lose this discussion, then the end may justify the means. Learned from our husbands and found to be very effective: watching the other talk about their heads and necks. Then find the one small weak point and bang, you're back in the race.


3. Do not look for a justification where there is none

So that your counterpart does not find the weaknesses of YOUR argument, do not even try facts. After all, there are none. Leave it at "I agree and don't want to have to explain. Period."

4. Do not seek consensus, but rather a compromise

If you have no arguments, it will be difficult to completely convince the other. Therefore, it is better to strive for a compromise right from the start or at least make your own goal look like one.

5. Be above anger with the right sentences

Real killers are sentences like "I understand you completely and I hope that you will also make the effort to understand my position" or "There is no reason to yell at me". This takes a lot of wind out of the other person's sails and keeps you on top of the horse, even if it's more of a pony from a factual point of view.