Staying alone at home is a stage in a child's development. To know if he is old enough to no longer be supervised by an adult, we must first analyze his degree of maturity. Explanations with Elena Goutard, family and parental coach.
This is a question many parents ask themselves. At what age can a child be home alone? It must be said that it is quite handy when the latter comes home from school or when you have last minute appointments. However, be aware that even if it is only an hour from time to time, a child needs to be prepared for this time on his own. It is also essential to ask him how he feels about this situation and to reassure him if he has any fears. We take stock with Elena Goutard, family and parental coach.
What is the ideal age?
“You cannot give a universal answer to this, because everything will depend on the maturity and personality of the child. Usually, as parents, you can feel it when the time is right. If we really have to give an age, I would say from seven years old if the child is already quite fall and responsible enough, but for short periods. Do not exceed more than one afternoon until the end of primary school ", explains the coach.
Before deciding to leave the child alone, parents should ask themselves a few questions:
- Is he a calm child? Responsible?
- Does he generally follow the rules? At school and at home
- Does he know the safety rules? At home or on the road, if he comes home from school alone
- Is he a thoughtful and resourceful child, able to weigh the pros and cons?
- Will he know how to call someone in an emergency?
- Does he know how to behave with strangers? Does he realize the danger?
Prepare for this moment
Obviously, he is not left the child alone overnight. A little preparation is necessary. "We must already explain to him what behavior to adopt if someone rings or if there is an emergency", says the expert. Then start leaving him alone for 20 to 30 minutes, time to go for a short run or jog: “Then, if all goes well, gradually extend the duration. Go from a half hour to a full hour, then from two hours to an afternoon, if you feel like they are handling the situation and your child is also confident. "
This preparation is all the more important if your cherub is afraid of being left alone. It may indeed happen that some children doubt their abilities or are fearful. Little by little learning to be alone will help him gain self-confidence. You can also sometimes ask him to go to the bakery for you, for example, so that he can become more independent. Or to make a phone call “like a grown-up”. Look for opportunities every day and take it step by step, recommends the specialist.
"To reassure him, always give him a return schedule and above all, respect it", specifies the coach. And to add: "In any case, before getting started, it is essential to ask the child for their opinion, whether or not they feel capable of being alone. Never force it, as this can cause a lot of anxiety. " Also, assure him that he has the opportunity to call mum or dad if he is not feeling well. Finally, prepare a little program with him, so that he does not get bored but also so that he does not fall on his own and try to do anything.
Have confidence in your child
In general, parents are not too worried when they know that the child is safe and that he will be able to cope. "Write down emergency numbers and post them in a prominent place, on the fridge or the front door, so he can find them easily. Explain the house rules too: just because you're not there doesn't mean he can do this or that. Inform him about what he can and cannot do. For example, don't touch kitchen utensils or try to cook dinner ", advises Elena Goutard. Also make sure that he knows his surroundings well and don't give him all the rules and instructions at the same time, but take it easy. Too much information can indeed frighten him and he may not understand everything. Once again, we have to go little by little.
Also, don't hesitate to call him once to find out how it's going. Be careful, however, avoid watching it too closely! Your kid needs to understand that you have confidence in him. “If you are really worried, try telling someone you know who lives nearby. Knowing that he can intervene in an emergency will reassure you ", she continues.
What are the benefits for the child?
Already, it should be noted that there is a great benefit for parents. "It's reassuring and it really makes their life easier to know that their child will be able to come home alone after school or be alone on an afternoon when you have to work etc.", says Elena Goutard.
For the child, learning to be alone is "A stone in the building of self-confidence" : “In general, children adapt quickly and develop a taste for this freedom. They feel valued and responsible but above all, they become more autonomous. " This is an important step in their development. Alone, the child will also learn to fill a void, to fill boredom and this will boost his imagination and creativity.
In short, leaving a child home alone, when they are old and mature, can have great benefits both for them and for parents. Be careful to avoid any dangerous situations, however, and remember to take it easy. If he's going to babysit his siblings, wait until he gets a little older. It’s one more responsibility.
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