Helmut Ziegler wrote a book about breasts. What does he know that we don't know?
I have focused on breasts for a whole year – their anatomy, their benefits for humanity, their aesthetic, commercial and also political impact. At the beginning I felt the joy. It followed: honest admiration. Breasts report temperature fluctuations, communicate with the circulatory system and start contractions. Breast milk contains a substance that resembles marijuana, helps fight pneumonia and lowers the risk of infection in infants. There's even a black market for breast milk! What breasts can do, hammer! Breasts are everywhere. As a protest signal like the topless actions of women from Femen. As a consumer incentive for pretty much every product up to boobs memory. In the art of the stone age. Even in algebra curve discussion. At the same time there are 1000 puzzles: why is it called nipple? Why do bras rarely fit well? Why are human females the only primates that always have breasts – not just during pregnancy or breastfeeding? At some point I could no longer see breasts. Finally, after the book was weaned, normalization began. And with it the conclusion that breasts are mostly without function, but are wasteful and beautiful. You can also say art.
BREAST, THE BOOK by Helmut Ziegler and Paula Lambert. Verlag Rogner & Bernhard, 304 pages, approx. 30 euros
I really want it!
“I think plastic surgery is marginal and I regret every woman who uses this remedy. On the other hand, I like to look at a perfect, presumably artificial breast in a magazine or on TV. I know how inconsistent that is, but then I just want to believe that it is 'real'. In real women, whose names I know, I find artificial breasts terrible. I fear women who believe that the demonstration of total femininity would make them desirable in the eyes of men. ”Falk, 39
On the right an apple, on the left a melon
“The moment I saw Claudia naked for the first time was irritating to me. Her breasts were really beautiful, but her left breast was the size of a honeydew melon – and the right breast was that of an apple. Then I made the mistake of thinking about this difference. I asked myself: If I deal with the bigger breast first, does Claudia think that I don't like the smaller one? Or the other way around: if I dedicate myself to the smaller ones, Claudia might think that I'm only doing it out of pity? And then I wondered what other men were doing before me. At this point at the latest, a promising evening was threatening to cool off rapidly. Fortunately, Claudia took matters into her own hands. Today I can say that whatever is said is really true: size doesn't matter. "
Frank, 36
Aunt Ingrid's neckline
“I had never paid much attention to breasts until I was twelve. On a beautiful summer day in my parents' garden, my aunt came to visit. My aunt's bosom was not only big, it was very big and swayed in her dress over the coffee table. She winked at me and placed her cake plate on top of her stem. 'Look, breast cake', she beamed at me. I'll never forget that. ”Henning, 56
Never insult a breast!
“Sabine was my first real friend. Since she didn't need a bra when she was fifteen, a guy from our class had christened her 'cherry'. I just thought it was funny back then. When I first tried to put Sabine under my sweater, she was reluctant to put it carefully. My nicely meant mockery, that it was not so wild, it was just a little late, did not lead to the desired result. It took months for Cherry to dare take off her t-shirt in my room. I had managed to scare her off without even touching her there once. Alone with a stupid remark. If I had known then what I know today, I would have been more careful. And more respectful. "
Alexander, 42
rubber balls
“Silicone breasts feel different from real ones. Harder. Inflexible. Lumpy. Imagine having one of those blue rubber balls that were used to play dodgeball in school. Now cut a ball like this in the middle and fill one half with sand: Voilà! That's exactly what it feels like. "
Jochen, 53
Breasts can kill men
“I had heard of criminal cases where women used their breasts to suffocate men. I wanted to get to the bottom of it and that's why I did it with volunteers. The result: it actually works and is a pretty perfidious way to kill a man. Our test subject was deprived of oxygen after only 20 seconds. Without noticing it himself, he already showed all signs of suffocation: red dots, burst capillaries, red frill and so on. By the time he realized that, it would have been too late. He would have passed out and suffocated because the brain had given the command to take a deep breath. One can say: from a C-cup it becomes dangerous. The bigger the breasts, the more the mouth and nose suck in. That happens because of the not deliberately controllable, deep emergency inhalation. "