In the fight for qualified employees, some employers and headhunters make false promises. This takes revenge for both sides a short time later. However, both parties also contribute to it getting this far, as Laura Klimecki emphasizes in an interview with ntv.de. The psychologist, who advises managers and entrepreneurs as a coach, explains when applicants should pay attention and how to find a suitable job.
ntv.de: Love bombing is known from the dating sector, what does it mean in the working world?
Laura Klimecki: Like dating, you are bombarded with love: you get an excess of attention, gifts – like a wave of love. That feels great, even in the working world. The employer rolls out the red carpet and you think you’ve landed in heaven. The goal: to find an employee and retain them quickly. However, when you actually start at the company, you realize that a lot of this is not being adhered to and that the employer may not be able to comply with everything.
Laura Klimecki advises managers under the brand name “The Munich Psychologist”.
(Photo: Laura Klimecki)
Which empty promises do employers particularly like to make?
Basically anything the applicant wants to hear. If you do it well, you first find out what exactly the candidate wants, because everyone feels love and attention in their own way. One person wants flexible working hours, and the employer says: “You get it!” Another applicant wants a public transport ticket and the employer says: “You can get it!” Everything that the potential employee demands is promised immediately without being recorded in the contract.
Is there intention behind this or pure desperation in the race for a lack of skilled workers?
There are different motifs. Anyone who has difficulty finding suitable employees tends to promise hope out of desperation. But employers don’t do this as often as headhunters, for example. They benefit greatly from convincing a candidate to set foot in the company’s door. It’s a bit like sales: you promise a Ferrari and then deliver a bicycle. A lot is often promised in order to get attention in the first place. The current job market plays a big role in this: if there were a lot of qualified applicants knocking down employers’ doors, they wouldn’t need love bombing at all.
Do reputable and large employers also practice love bombing?
Tends to be less. Because they know what they can realize and what they cannot. Love bombing is more likely to occur in new companies where the founders or employees may not even know whether they can keep a promise. In this case it’s more about naivety than malice. Love bombing occurs wherever supply and demand tilt. We currently have an employee market. The employer has to offer more. Things used to be different: the applicant had to put in a lot of effort.
So love bombing in the world of work isn’t a new phenomenon?
No, it’s just become more present. Corona has left the job market feeling empty. Managers and entrepreneurs all say the same thing: There are fewer and fewer qualified specialist staff, at all levels – the dispute over qualified employees is escalating. But entrepreneurs who make false promises lose employees faster than they can imagine. No wonder they complain about high fluctuation. The only problem is: Even companies that promise a lot and then make a lot of it come true have problems retaining their employees long-term.
Which applicants are particularly “bombed”?
Felt in all industries. The catering industry, for example, is currently struggling enormously. The other day I saw a sign in a restaurant that said: “Please be nice to our waiter – we can replace him more difficult than a customer.” “The customer is king” no longer applies. Although you have to say: it always takes two to love bombing. An applicant only falls into the honeypot if he prefers a “perfect offer” to a fair offer.
So what advice would you give to job seekers?
In the current job market, many applicants would like to have everything. But even if they get it, they wouldn’t always be happy in the end. I should just think about what is important to me as an employee. Would I rather have a solid job that makes me feel good? Or do I want a lot of money and don’t care how it makes me feel? Am I looking for a job where I will be supported and challenged? Or do I just want to take and give little? Some companies make everything possible right from the start: from massages to covering internet and telephone costs. Ironically, employees quickly get used to it and are unhappy again. We know this from psychology: someone who gets everything they want gets so used to this level of happiness after three months that even that is no longer enough to be truly happy. Employees should consider whether everything they see on social networks is really important to ultimately being satisfied in their job. Our parents often earned less, stayed in a company longer and were generally more satisfied with their jobs than the current generation.
How do I as an applicant notice that something is wrong, when should I pay attention?
No healthy relationship is perfect, neither in your personal life nor in your work life. So if you feel like you’ve found the perfect job, you should be skeptical. Employees who view a job realistically are less likely to fall for false promises. They know that you have to be willing to compromise sometimes. The higher your demands on the job, the more difficult it will be to meet them. This means that the sooner love bombing happens and the greater the disappointment in the end. If both sides remain realistic, approach each other and see how things develop, a good working relationship will develop in the long term.
So conditions that are too fantastic are more of a reason not to join a company?
In a good relationship, one person never gives everything while the other takes everything. This can’t work well in the long run. This is an impossibility, especially in the world of work, where the employer has to satisfy not just one person but many employees. If I don’t get everything for free straight away, but there is a clear and comprehensible plan, then that is probably the better employer. Conversely, there are also applicants who practice love bombing by claiming that they meet all requirements and are always available, even on weekends. Here, too, the employee suddenly can no longer remember ever having promised this. In summary: Both sides should take off their rose-colored glasses. There is neither the perfect employer nor the perfect employee. Hard facts should be in the employment contract, the rest is like in a relationship. Even a prenuptial agreement doesn’t help with their success.
How do employers best convince applicants of themselves?
Through honesty and transparency. Through a roadmap of what an applicant can expect immediately, what may only take place in a year or what is generally linked to their performance. Then both parties have something to work on step by step.
Christina Lohner spoke to Laura Klimecki