A woman’s body is different. A woman’s body is examined, evaluated and always needs to be optimized. Especially in summer it shows every year that we are still a long way from letting body be just body.
I stand at the traffic lights with my bike and wait for the green light. It is hot. The sun gives everything. I wear a top and shorts. The man who drives by in the car brakes, drives more slowly and examines my body from top to bottom. I feel naked.
I’m on my way to the train. I had an appointment with a friend. It is now late and other people around me have apparently indulged in a few cold alcoholic beverages. The group of men, for example, who spread out in front of the access to the train tracks. I put on my headphones, take my cell phone out of my pocket and stare at the floor. Close your eyes and through, I think as I scurry through her as quickly as possible, but I can still feel her eyes on me. When the train finally pulls in, I scan the compartments for large groups of men as the wagons rush past. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve changed my seat while driving. The headphones are my protective shield, just like my cell phone. I feel insecure.
I’m at the pool. There are many women around me with many different bodies. Very few seem to feel comfortable. You can still do it lying down with a flat stomach, but on the way to the water, gravity outsmarts me. I do not feel well.
Show your body, the world wants to talk about it again
Why are you so angry? Nowadays women can do whatever they want. You have all options. You can wear whatever you want, eat whatever you want, put on your make-up whatever you want. You set your limits for yourself. You are free. LOL, free … that’s what we’re told. That is what we like to tell ourselves, how we and others want to see each other. What Instagram washes into my channel on various quotes every day and what influencers want to tell me with fake, perfectly posed pictures that put them and their bodies in the right light.
Self-loving friends, but please without dents and rolls. But if somebody dares to show herself the way she really looks, the first thing that pops into our head is not: “Great, how brave”, but “Oha, she also has sagging breasts doesn’t look so nice. ” We are far from free. Not in our minds, not in the minds of others either. Because such a woman’s body occupies a lot of people in reality who are not in it at all, especially in summer when the thick winter jackets fall. And so that this body is also appealing to the world, many of us either work hard from New Year to achieve the so-called bikini body, or don’t dare to go outside in short clothes until autumn because they don’t have made it.
Every body is a bikini body – don’t feel it
With the first warm rays of sunshine, the bikini models shine on the posters. Every summer the truth shines on me in the mirror. I try bikinis and consistently find them all terrible. This is also due to the bikinis and also to my body, with its blemishes. Too little chest, too many legs, buttocks are okay, but they are already hanging, nobody wants to see waving arms and my skin on the beach glows in the brightest white that makes even white giants pale with envy. Problems or problem areas that every woman knows. On Instagram it says: Love yourself, bikinis are for everyone, overweight women talk about body positivity, and me? I don’t feel But what I feel is that my body is being valued, by myself and by others. Over and over again. Especially in summer, women’s bodies are highly debatable: one is too fat, the other too skinny, she wears too much make-up and let’s be honest, so maybe you shouldn’t wear a mini with your figure, you can actually see everything that has to be don’t be surprised … wow.
We hurt ourselves and others
There is no such thing as a perfect body. There is no woman, but unfortunately also no woman I know who feels really comfortable in her skin. And the really sadistic thing is how we make each other small and spitefully mumble with a sidelong glance: But she’s bold instead of being benevolent and solidary. But we’re just not used to that.
Lin Hierse writes in her column at the taz: “Almost all of them have waged war against their bodies: running to the point of fainting, a toothbrush in their throat. They are so afraid to be too much that enough became unreachable. They are confident women now and still googled ‘how to lose weight fast’. No one suddenly becomes gentle when the war is over. “
And she’s right. It’s so deep. And as long as women are afraid, as long as others take the liberty of evaluating bodies that are not their own, as long as we have the feeling that our body does not belong to us, but is a freely accessible object for everyone to whistle after, a perky saying presses or whose flaw one talks about. And how often have I heard from men: “But you women want it that way.” Or also: “You always talk about equality, but then somehow you want to be treated differently.” Precisely this shows how far the way is still ahead of us. We are still a long way from equality because it has not yet really reached our women’s minds on our women’s bodies. We don’t need body positivity. What we need is neutrality, reality and diversity. A non-rating.
What I wish for my daughters …
… is freedom in the head. Freedom and real equality. And men who are feminists, instead of feeling attacked, who no longer undress women with lustful looks, who don’t think catcalling is okay, who don’t make slogans and sexist jokes that they don’t mean at all. We need parents who raise empathetic children who dare to change things instead of playing tradition on and on. I wish for my daughters that they can rest in themselves, that they feel safe, that they are safe. Yes, we are on our way, but the goal is further away than expected. Maybe our children run a little faster than we do. That would be great.