Cookie Jarring
This is how you know whether you are the second choice when dating
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Be the second choice when dating? Nobody wants that. We reveal what signs you should pay attention to in order to recognize it in time.
Especially in times of online dating, it is not uncommon to write to several potential “candidates” at the same time – also known as cookie jarring. However, this also comes with the uncertainty as to whether you are actually the first choice of the person you have just fallen in love with…
What is Cookie Jarring?
The term cookie jarring is intended to… Describe a dating situation when one of the people involved has someone else “up his sleeve”, i.e. is still dating someone. Or maybe even three, four or five others – just like more cookies in the “cookie jar”. If one doesn’t fit, you can go back to the next one.
5 Warning Signs of Cookie Jarring
None of us would like to be the second choice. But how can we recognize this? Pay attention to these five pointers from Cookie Jarring:
- The worst thing first: He:she mixes up your name or always has to think for a long time about what your name is. A very clear warning sign that you are not as important to him as you are the other way around and he is still dating other people.
- A little more subtle, but still a clear no-go: He:She constantly texts someone else during your dates and you’re not allowed to read it. If you ask, you won’t get any direct answers, just evasive phrases like “It’s not that important.”
- He: She doesn’t immediately agree to new meetings, but “has to see first” or already has other plans, which are not described further. Or he:she cancels spontaneously, even without a direct, honest reason.
- He:she avoids conversations about your future together.
- It’s similar when it comes to getting to know your parents or introducing yourself to his/hers – he/she also tries to avoid that.
If you recognize these behaviors, think carefully about how much energy you want to put into further getting to know each other or the relationship – because everyone deserves to be the first choice.
Sources used: nbcnews.com, bustle.com, forbes.com