Cordula Stratmann: Interview with the comedian

Barbara: Cordula, we're both sitting in this Cologne photo studio in beautiful armchairs. If I were with you professionally now, I would probably rather lie, right?

Cordula: No I'm not a psychoanalyst.

But, and not many people know that: a psychotherapist, in addition to your very public job as a comedian.

That's almost true now. I was a social worker and systemic family therapist until 1996, and for two years I have been working in this beautiful profession again in private practice. And while with some analysts the couch is actually used, with me people talk to each other and look at each other in very comfortable seating. Do you have any experience with therapy?

I have. I was actually at a point in my life where I destroyed everything myself. For a year I went to a desolate practice in Spandau every week and had the feeling that the guy hates me. I just wanted him to tell me where to go.

Does he have that?

Of course not.

What was your problem?

I did wrong and got the receipt for it. And I felt that running to those unpleasant sessions for a year was part of my penance.

Could it be that it was about 15 years ago?

Almost exactly. How do you know?

We met back then, and I left the event with the impression that you were doing badly. What you are telling now is linked to the way I perceived you back then.

Amazing, I thought I hadn't let it show. But there were really those two years in my life when I felt like it was slipping away from me. I've always been positive and still am today, but then I thought: Maybe everything won't be okay after all.

You just said: The therapy was part of your penance.

I still have that feeling a lot today. I consider the life that I am allowed to live today to be a stroke of luck. And to compensate for that, I also accept that there is a lot of hooking in one place or another. Do you know that?

No I grew up Catholic, but I can't do anything with the concept of penance or punishment. With awareness, yes. In the sense that I realize that I shouldn't be the one who is complaining about her life. And the older I get, the more the idea solidifies: Nobody should bring a lawsuit.

How do you mean?

I am often amazed at how many people say a huge "but!" carry around with you. They put a lot of effort into rejecting their reality and defiantly creating plans for life without this having any constructive effect. I think: if there is actually something to complain about in your life, it is worthwhile to be clear about it. Sometimes all you have to do is realize that your life suits you a lot better than your plans. And if that doesn't work in contact with friends, then it is definitely worth it if someone else looks at it.

Is there such a thing as … well … let's say: basic knowledge that you have gained as a therapist?

Yes, namely: We all belong to the normally disturbed people. We all have strange thoughts and reflexes. And dealing with it is not rocket science. In the end, it's about growing up.

And what does that mean in concrete terms?

Perceive, recognize, develop. Basically, I always do the same work that I've already done on myself: I prevent my reflexes from taking control.

I find that interesting because these reflexes are so difficult to overcome. According to my observation, people always end up at the same individual problem points.

Exactly. And this dynamic is not as individual as we always think. We are not all that exclusive and highly complicated, even in our disorders.

That would be?

We think we're not seen enough. That others prevent us from doing well. That circumstances are difficult.

But these are disturbances from outside.

Not at all, we are all responsible for how we evaluate the things in life. We can see the world as our adversary or we can live in it and shape it.

Small steps to happiness.

Oh yes, the thing about happiness … I think we are all much better in the long term if we don't constantly hunt for happiness, but first try to find satisfaction. Happiness is always only a fleeting visitor, very moody, this little lady of luck.

Sometimes when asked how they are doing, people say: We are satisfied. I do not like that.

And why not?

For me it's a half-baked compromise. When luck says the fat "Yes!" then satisfaction is the "yes and no", the little, not so pretty sister.

But if you say yes and no, you may never see yes. Crises that come to us reliably in the course of our lives also fit well into the yes and no.

Nice cue. Crises require decisions. Are you good at meeting them?

I don't think that matters at all. For me, crises are more the time of questions, so it's about enduring ambivalence, the yes and no that you slapped. Crises come and ask us, well, are you catching your breath now or do you already recognize what I've brought you here? Crises usually have a present in their luggage. To see this, you have to take your foot off the gas and calm down. You make good decisions when you take the time. How is your experience

When I think about it: I haven't made that much decision in my life.

Contradiction. I immediately think of two very important decisions.

Sure, right: will I marry this man and do I want children with him? Twice: yes.

And that had consequences.

Hopefully for the rest of my life. But I am in good spirits because I have noticed: I have always relied on my inner voice for the few really important decisions in my life. I think I have a very good basic instinct, and that also ensured that I usually just swam along and flushed myself in the right places.

Exactly. Decision making has to do with trust. And it is with me as with you: I know my life will end well – no matter what crises and hurdles lie on the way.

Let's talk about a decision you made about a quarter of a century ago. You gave up your job as a family therapist in the youth welfare office in Pulheim to just do comedy.

Yes, and that was an interesting process. I had received an offer for a television format, but was somehow skeptical – it was a strange, strange world for me, I liked being in my counseling center and I didn't even have the urge to live on television. But I was also interested and wanted to try it out, so I sat in my head of department's office to talk to him about taking a year off from the youth welfare office. But talking to Dr. Gerhard Dornseifer – he was a really great man – I then started to cry.

Why?

Because it became clear to me: You want to install a fuse here, but if you change worlds now, you won't go back to the old one. Jump or leave. So I said to him: Mr. Dornseifer, I'm not coming back. My instincts were so unmistakable, and it was at that moment that I understood: change means development, and it goes forward without cowardice, not backward. And I also realized: If at another point in my life I need a new decision …

… then you would meet her.

Exactly. I've learned to only think ahead. I often come to intersections and I like to stand at them. I have a basic trust in this life, so I know that in principle I will make the right decision.

Where does this basic trust come from?

Hm … do you know what the first word that comes up in my head right now?

N / A?

Humor. I have a sense of humor and I believe that it is an endowment of people's trust. And by that I don't mean whether someone likes jokes or not. But the ability to see everything that goes wrong in life from a different perspective. And that creates trust.

But you did need it sometimes, right? Like when you became a mother at 42.

Indeed. What you get to hear, how risky such a late pregnancy is, what can go wrong, huuuuuh! And yet: I didn't really have the feeling that I had to decide anything. I no longer expected to get pregnant at all, life had decided for me. Even during pregnancy, I didn't want to know whether the child would be healthy or not. I just knew who was coming was our new family member, with or without a crease in the neck. Et kütt like et kütt, I'm not a Rhinelander for nothing!

And now the boy is already 14! But let's talk about another decision, please.

Which?

About going back to your old job after a break of more than 20 years.

Ha! Here too I would say: I didn't really make up my mind.

Rather?

I worked with Dr. Dornseifer also cried like that because I was about to give up something that I loved very much. I could only stand it because I knew deep down that at some point I would do this job again. So you could say: I made the decision to return to work when I left. The inner voice that talked me back to being a therapist just got so loud a few years ago that I could no longer ignore it.

How often do you work in therapy? And where?

I have my own practice in Cologne. At the moment I manage to get my two professions under one roof – I'm always both anyway, I've probably already been a humorist and therapist on the changing table.

And I find that totally fascinating. I mean, can you think of someone else who acts, does stage programs or is a pop star and still works on the side in another, normal job? As a technical draftsman or something?

Uh … no. To you?

No, I don't know now, except for people who use their celebrities for charity. Which of course raises the following question: Are there people in show business who have seen this as a step backwards in their career?

No idea. Because I don't even care how someone thinks it. I don't ask anyone how they think I have ten fingers.

True again. And what do we learn from this?

That we are more than what people see of us. Much more.

CORDULA STRATMANN was born in Düsseldorf in 1963. After studying social work, she worked in a family counseling center in Pulheim. In 1992 she appeared for the first time as Annemie Hülchrath at a carnival session. That had consequences: The cabaret artist Jürgen Becker put Stratmann on television – "Mitternachtsspitzen", "Manngold", "Zimmer frei!", "Schillerstrasse" are just a few of her stops. She also acted in films and series, wrote various non-fiction books and novels and received comedy and acting awards. Stratmann has been working as a therapist again for two years.

STEPHAN BARTELS organizes, accompanies and edits these conversations. We know: It's definitely more work than you might think.