Why is domestic quarantine so unusual for us? And how do we deal with the corona measures? A therapist about fears, loneliness and loneliness.
The situation is serious, were the words of the Chancellor in March, and now they are again. The appeals are also the same: reducing social contacts to a minimum is the motto of the federal government in order to get the corona crisis under control. Because Germany is currently recording new records of corona infections every day.
The year is slowly coming to an end – and Corona is still dominating our lives. A period of isolation is behind us, another is ahead of us. We spoke to a psychotherapist about the corona crisis – Andrea vorm Walde gives us valuable tips on how to deal with domestic quarantine and why you don't have to be lonely despite being alone.
The coronavirus, the fear of loneliness – and the curfew
What scares us so much about a curfew from a psychological point of view?
"In our life everything revolves around attachment. We have, so to speak, a very original need to be in relation to others. This is taken away from us in the broadest sense of the word during a curfew. So the fear of being alone really threatens something fundamental. Then there is the loss of freedom. We are absolutely not used to that here. "
I'm already afraid that I won't be able to make it through this. How do I calm down when I am no longer allowed to go out?
"I think we shouldn't underestimate each other right now: We can withstand a lot more than we thought before. I always emphasize the importance of reference to reality with my clients, because that grounds and prevents them from excessive mental games:
Yes, we may be obliged to stay home. But we are healthy, have a roof over our heads, a lot of entertainment, the possibility of getting food at any time and, in today's age, many contact options via telephone and internet. We must now steer our thoughts positively.
What can I do to distract myself from the fear of being locked in?
"Doing is actually the right word. Getting into action is always the best way because it takes away the feeling of powerlessness. It doesn't matter what we do – a little sports program, house cleaning, picking up an unread book … variety is what counts, because both physical and mental exercise should be included. And the web is full of offers, also free of charge: yoga classes, YouTube tutorials, podcasts and so much more.
Incidentally, I warn against the thought of feeling trapped. In reality we are not; even in the event of curfew, we are allowed to leave the apartment at any time for specific purposes It is important to be clear about this.
What do I do when I live alone – and am afraid of loneliness?
"That will certainly be a special challenge. But we are much better off now than in the past. Because what is otherwise often a curse is now a blessing: Our opportunities to be active online are almost endless and secure against radical loneliness.
Social media allows for constant communication, even at night, and personally I really appreciate video calls via zoom. I have been using this program for online coaching for a long time. And should the curfew come, then also for the coffee chat with my parents and the prosecco evening with friends.
But what about the older part of our population who don't have these options?
"This is where I see the greatest problem. Because, as I said, we humans need relationships with others, otherwise there is a risk of depression and physical illness. There is really only the possibility of calling; we should at least do that more often with those whose numbers we have .
I am currently thinking about how we can manage to reach more old people so that we can offer them contact. Nursing services or church institutions can, for example, pass on our telephone number. Help groups are coming together on Facebook. We have to take action!
And one thing is also clear: when we help others who are worse off, that keeps us going. This is how our psyche works. "
Thank you so much!
Andrea vorm Walde is a therapist, coach and alternative practitioner for psychotherapy. She looks after her clients in a practice in Hamburg and online. There are also regular tips from her on her blog