demisexual
How do you know if you’re in the sexual gray area?
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demisexual? Hetero, bi, homo, a, metro, pan, sapiosexual – you’ve probably heard everything related to sexuality. Here we explain what demisexuality is all about.
Some like men, others women, for others gender doesn’t matter at all and some never feel like having sex. That there isn’t one “right” or “normal” sexual orientation that applies to everyone, we all (hopefully) know by now.
But what demisexuality is, many don’t know – which probably means that a lot of people are demisexual without even realizing it. So it’s high time we finally found out more about them Gray areas of sexuality to speak, the so-called “gray-a”. Because not being able to identify oneself sexually is a dangerous breeding ground for insecurity and self-doubt.
What does demisexual mean?
The term demisexuality denotes a form of sexualityat the people experience sexual desire and physical attraction exclusively in connection with an emotional bond. Means: Without feeling, no sex – at least not a pleasurable one that is fun and satisfying. The word “demi” comes from French and means “half”.
But that’s not all: Demisexual people, like asexuals, often have no general interest in sex or sex partners. Find someone hot? cyber sex? One night stands? Absolutely absurd for people who are demisexual. Sleeping with someone or even just having a tease only crosses their minds when they have a deep relationship have to this person.
Why are people demisexual?
Counter question: Why are people straight, homo or asexual? You are. As far as we know, no one can choose who turns them on sexually, who triggers sexual desire, or what makes them climax in bed (although of course, if we have trouble climaxing, there are a few things we can try).
In demisexual people, it is assumed that the so-called primary sexual attractionthe external characteristics like Appearance, smell, charisma and personality another person, for whatever reason, does not affect them.
For the secondary attraction However, they are just as susceptible as everyone else. One speaks of that when – mostly in the context of a romantic relationship – feelings like Trust, longing, respect, friendship or love one trigger sexual desire towards a specific person.
In this respect, the sex life of demisexual people hardly differs from the sex life of a person who, for example, on principle does not want to sleep with anyone outside of relationships. But only on the outside.
How do we recognize demisexuality?
You probably already guessed: We cannot see demisexuality in anyone at first glance – just as little as homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality or other sexual orientations. And that’s just as well. After all, the sexuality and sexual inclinations of other people are basically none of our business – keyword private matter.
On the other hand, when it comes to Recognizing demisexuality in ourselveswould be a guidance quite nice. Because just like others (often mostly non-heterosexual people), demisexuals sometimes find it difficult to position themselves in the broad spectrum of sexuality. Here are five signswhich can be indications of demisexuality.
5 signs you’re demisexual
- When you fall in love, you definitely want to get to know him better – but you don’t think about sex and kisses for a long time: Sure, getting to know someone, falling in love, feeling tingling in your stomach and wearing rose-tinted glasses, you know them well. But ideas of you having flower sex or anticipation of the first French kiss? You’ve never had anything like this in the early stages of a relationship!
- You don’t understand flirting and just the thought of dating makes you nervous: What do people find in flirting with other people or going through a list of superficial small talk topics on a blind date? It was never your thing. It is all the more exciting for you when you notice during the conversation, for example, that the other person understands you, feels the same as you or says words that really have a meaning.
- You don’t know exactly whether you’re more into men or women: Penis? boobs? hmm! On their own, you can’t do much with either of them. But when there is an emotional bond, you wouldn’t exclude anyone you’re attracted to—neither man nor woman.
- You don’t like to talk about sex because you feel like you have to pretend: Most demisexuals find it difficult to talk about desire and sexuality with friends or acquaintances. No wonder! If others rave about hot stars, you have nothing to report. People only turn you on when they touch you emotionally.
- You can’t do much with porn: You can laugh until you choke on funny porn titles, but watching porn tends to make you restless. Not because of any prudish reservations, but simply because nothing stirs in you.
Do you tend towards the asexual side? Not an issue either! But you could still try tantric yoga. Maybe you’re just in a gray area where your spiritual side needs to be stimulated before you can feel anything sexually. But even if you’re asexual, you can still find true love. And overcoming loneliness is possible without sex anyway.
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