Divorce lawyer reveals
These marriages typically end particularly troubled
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Let’s go. This is the first impulse that many women have before divorce. A lawyer reveals why that’s not always the best advice.
Brigitte Woman: Mr. Nickel, you have been a lawyer since 2009 and a specialist lawyer for family law since 2013. Are there particularly problematic marriages?
Robert R. Nickel: The entrepreneurial marriage is such a classic, in which one or both are self-employed or work in a senior position. These marriages are prone to manipulation. Partners like to deceive here in advance and influence the income. The courts are overwhelmed with this, they cannot do detective work. That’s why I always advise: get a tax consultant on board who can calculate the difference, or have an expert report done.
How is that tricked?
There are many possibilities: Shortly before the separation, the company car will be smaller. Instead of the S-Class, it’s suddenly a Skoda. Or the annual bonuses are postponed by two or three years – if you have a good relationship with the boss. You then have to explain it to the court.
Let’s say it runs perfectly average. What are your tips?
In no case do you voluntarily give up everything. Even if you have a good job yourself. After all, you have to move, buy new furniture, pay commission, reorganize your life. In general, you should always try to come to a settlement that is okay for both sides. Otherwise get a lawyer straight away, the family courts act relatively quickly.
What advice do you have for women who say: I don’t want anything, I just want to get away?
Those who do without everything usually come from a relationship with a very high level of suffering. In toxic relationships in particular, women may prefer to be left alone. Then it depends on the environment whether it motivates you to assert your claims. I advise then to think of yourself, of the children. Anyone who doesn’t dare to go to a law firm or can no longer take their sister, their mother, a person they trust, with them. You don’t have to be afraid of a lawyer, it’s not an appointment with a dentist. An initial consultation does not cost more than 190 euros net. And if you can’t afford it, there’s help. Then you know: What are my options? It doesn’t commit you to anything.
What should I take care of in advance?
One should be interested in what the spouse is doing. Where does he work? What is his job? What other income does he have? Maybe a rental house? If you notice that the relationship is getting into trouble and the other person is already making preparations, then you should make a few copies or cell phone photos.
What if the soon-to-be ex-husband doesn’t disclose all his earnings?
If accounts and real estate are not specified, ask for information. If there are doubts as to the correctness, an affidavit can be requested in the next step of the procedure. This disciplines, because it brings with it significant penalties if the insurance is wrong.
Do you have a final tip?
Yes: those who want to reach an agreement tend to demand less than they are entitled to. Therefore: first assert everything that the lawyer calculates. You can always give in. But always start with realistic demands, otherwise the value of the item will be inflated.
About the person: Robert R. Nickel is a specialist lawyer for family law and owner of the Lübeck law firm Zank & Nickel