DO NOT YELL AT ME!
Five tricks against the roar trap for impulsive mothers
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Sometimes you just have to bump the offspring together out loud. Because unfortunately you can’t think of anything else. Why we don’t have to be ashamed of this – and what we can do about it.
by Viola Kaiser
We’re all impulsive mothers here. We were just talking about the fact that we sometimes yell at our children, even though we always feel guilty afterwards. Of course, we know that this is probably not the most valuable educational method from a pedagogical point of view and that loud shouting at most demonstrates our maximum helplessness.
But then there are those days again when it was incredibly exhausting in the office, twice the coffee fell over, really nobody at home listens to you and the cute little ones are just crazy. The screaming is somehow liberating in about one percent of the cases, most of the time the anger stays with us. Therefore, here are a few really feasible tricks, so that next time we remain as relaxed as otherwise only Ghandi would have managed:
1. Find the real cause. Was it really the three-year-old who yelled “Candy! I want candy right now”, even though she had already eaten half the Maoam factory? Or maybe frustration that came from elsewhere. Of course, that doesn’t change anything in the roaring moment, but in the long term it helps to clarify whether you are having a particularly stressful time and, above all, why. Maybe you can then eliminate the cause, maybe it was just the lack of lunch that makes us so sensitive (see point 2). And if it was just a shitty day, then it’s still not right to freak out hysterically, but it’s understandable every now and then – and just human and authentic. Please also read point 5 on this.
Just pound the pillow!
2. Take care of yourself. Have you eaten enough today? Take a break? Got to bed on time yesterday? There are so many components that can make us thin skinned. After all, life as a mother is not always just a pony farm. That’s why sometimes the smallest things help to make the nerves a little thicker. This includes, for example, regular food intake and going to the toilet. Wasn’t there time for that? Then priorities have to be shifted. There must always be time for some things!
3. Take a deep breath. Sounds banal, but it helps. The moment you want to start screaming to go out and take a short breath in and out deeply (or 50 times if necessary), it can really move mountains. Alternatively, in extreme cases, it also helps to really trample in the bathroom or knock on a pillow in the bedroom. The main thing is to take a short break from the annoying situation, after that everything often looks different – and you can at least shout more quietly.
Never forget: You are only human!
4th Do beautiful things! It would be better to hang out with the kids at home, watch a movie and eat popcorn when you realize that everything is getting too much. Or choose other activities that you as a mother might prefer yourself to the XXL indoor playground that drives you crazy. Better to calmly say “no” beforehand than afterwards just shout “NO” like a madman. The best entertainment and support program is of no use if everyone gets in a bad mood. Just let yourself be fives relaxed now and then enormously. You might not win the Soccer Mom of the Year award that way, but you can still have a little peace of mind.
5. Don’t be so strict with yourself! By the way, sometimes you have to scream. For example, if the child wants to run into the street. Every experienced educator will confirm that since the sound makes the music, softly and sensitively, “Please do not run into the street” when the SUV comes thundering with 120 things is definitely not the right strategy. Even if you touched the wrong tone with a huge amount: You are only human! Children are generous, they forget that too. Especially when you sincerely apologize. Tomorrow there will be more laughing than screaming anyway, so you have to forgive yourself. I’m sure you’re a great mother, even if you yell a little.