What if old-fashioned penetration, a vestige of a sexuality intended only for reproduction, had had its day? Sex (and orgasm) without penetration? We say yes three times!
Become an essential columnist of the Quotidien team, Maïa Mazaurette, above all an expert in sex, last year published a book with an evocative title to evoke this reflection on the dive penetration: "Getting out of the hole, raising your head – And escape our narrow view of sex ”. In other words, while we are no longer destined to marry a neighbor chosen by our parents to extend the family land before giving him eight or so noisy children, wouldn't we do better to think about our sexuality differently? Because if, ten years ago, the catch-all term of “preliminary” was used to designate everything that preceded the inevitable penetration, the only guarantee of a sexual relationship worthy of the name, today the cards seem be hackneyed and that's good.
Sexualities change, open up, diversify. And if sexual breakdown, menstrual period, recurrent or momentary vaginal dryness, virginity that you want to keep, vaginismus or any other "impediment" can lead some partners to opt opportunely for sex without penetration, many others frequently make this choice not out of spite but out of taste, finding there a different or even more transcendent source of pleasure than basic penetration. Men or women, we all have to gain by exploring this exhilarating sensual world from which the couple often moves away over the years but which, far from being a regression, opens the relationship to a renewed and sometimes unprecedented pleasure. Sex without penetration, tips and instructions.
Obsession penetration
We must already agree on the term penetration. When we talk about penetration, are we talking only about the penis or anything that, introduced into one or both orifices of his / her partner, is intended to give him pleasure? Finger, object, tongue … there are many ways to enter a body that you want and to which you want to unite without necessarily hearing erection / penetration / ejaculation.
Because, as Maïa Mazaurette explains in the preamble of her book, despite the pornography accessible in one click, an alleged liberation of manners and meetings facilitated by a technology quick to facilitate reconciliations, our libido would never have been so moribund. . Whose fault is it ? "To a sexuality thought of as a matter of orifices, to an imagination that reduces women to a void to be filled, while they have a pulsating, powerful sex. »Of which act.
Squirting Without Penetration
Yes, gentlemen, cum without penetration is possible. And even we did not wait for you to find a very effective way to reach orgasm in two steps and three (skillful) movements of the fingers. It cannot be repeated enough, the clitoris is not a joystick but an erectile organ which, if it seems humble at first glance, has thousands of sensory receptors and an immersed part that communicates with the vagina. Asking a woman if she is "clitoral or vaginal" therefore has as little meaning as asking if you want butter or jam on her toast: vagina or clitoris, identifying what part each zone plays in the pleasure is almost impossible. .
Cum without penetration can therefore pass for many women through clitoral masturbation or cunnilingus, but sensuality has no limits and, depending on sensitivities, can go through many subtleties. Ears, breast tips, harsh words, long and controlled caresses all over the body … the sensuality of sexual intercourse sometimes leads to orgasm without the need to go back and forth with the genitals. And if society – and particularly in France – still tries to make us believe that the "act" and the good sexual health of a couple depends on the ability of men to lead a relationship. relationship until ejaculation, pleasure-seeking partners must break free from this narrow-minded view that has fizzled out. The world has changed, and physical love is no longer synonymous with reproduction as it once did. vaginal penetration is still the most frequent in France (82% of French women practice it "often" against 60% in the United Kingdom or 64% in Canada) ** and it is also in France that accompanied vaginal penetration stimulation of the clitoris is the least frequently practiced whereas for 77% of French women it is a means of reaching orgasm "quite easily". The fault of men who struggle to unite foreplay and "act", or to society that continues to lock us into a distorted view of our sex lives as they should be? Sex life is full of unopened doors, let love unfold along with our desire.
Good advice from "no péné"
You are not convinced ? Let’s talk about the numbers. According to the Ifop survey cited above, only 26% of French women say they enjoy "very easily" thanks to vaginal penetration, even though we are the country in Europe where it is most practiced. An equation to be modified, therefore, to boost one's sexual health and reconcile men, women and pleasure thanks to stupid practices to (re) invest. Among them we find:
- The unmistakable 69: or when the double oral caress allows everyone, man or woman, to take and give pleasure, coupling passivity and sexual activity for enjoyment without penetration but simultaneously.
- The hot dogging, or position 68, which consists of placing the man's penis between the buttocks of the partner, performing between them (you visualize the hot dog?) a back and forth movement that can lead to both partners to orgasm.
- The dry humping : This trendy and regressive practice consists of rubbing against your partner without ever going "to the end" (hear, penetration, not orgasm) for a gradual rise in desire and a maximum of arousal.
- The good old cunnilingus, but well executed (ie: not like a teenage shovel spinning nonstop, in rhythm and in the same direction until death follows), with love and dexterity.
- Remote sex : confinement requires, words and hearing pleasure have sometimes taken over in our most intimate relationships. So, with or without a cam, we send each other into the air whispering words of love, sexual fantasies or insanities each on his side of the screen for connected pleasure.
- Mutual masturbation : By varying the positions, sitting face to face, legs passed over the other's, eye to eye, you guide your partner right at the right tempo.
Vibrator, sofa arm, digital exploration in new positions … the great thing about non-penetrating sex is that its variations are endless. And beyond ? Indulge.