When one or more of these bad habits have crept into your love life, it's time to change something.
Californian psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith has identified seven behaviors that creepingly destroy relationships. In the journal Psychology Today, he shows alternatives.
Do you feel familiar with one or the other? If one or more of the following seven behaviors crept in on you, it would be good to see why you are – and to change it if possible.
1. Cheating
With an affair you destroy trust and break hearts. While it is not impossible to rebuild trust and cement hearts. But the likelihood that an affair will irretrievably destroy the relationship is high.
Better: avoid sex with others and keep confirmation and eroticism alive in the partnership.
2. Make the other lightning rod
How many times have you come home in a bad mood and left it out at your partner? This is not fair and not only poisons the mood, but also love in the long term.
Better: crawl into his arms and tell: "I had a really bad day today …"
3. Don't be there for the other
If you are not there for your partner, if they are doing badly, you are signaling to them: You are not worth investing time and making sacrifices.
Better: Learn to support your partner in difficult phases and temporarily put your own needs on hold.
4. Don't give tenderness
When you stop being tender to your partner, they will stop asking for attention at some point – and you will move further and further apart.
Better: A good start is to look him in the eyes again, to take his hand or to cuddle with him on the couch.
5. Lies
Do you lie sometimes because it's easier or so you don't have to admit anything that your partner might reject? If you stick with it, you will lose confidence sooner or later.
Better: stay honest, even if it is difficult.
6. Give up
Giving up is not the same as giving up. Giving in can make sense; As is well known, relationships only work if both are willing to compromise. Giving up, however, signifies the other: I am not interested in you and your opinion.
Better: also deal with the uncomfortable opinions of the partner.
7. Don't communicate
Silence is golden? Not in love, because communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Without good communication, there is no good relationship.
Better: sit down and talk to each other about feelings and thoughts. Works wonders.