Small partnership-related crisis of meaning? Don't worry, we'll help you out again!
Sharing life with someone is nice! Shared moments of happiness, a shoulder to lean on, an open ear after an eventful day or just a body to cuddle with, etc. … Sure, we don't throw it away so easily when things get strenuous in between.
It gets more difficult, however, when (felt) the strenuous aspects predominate. When we are constantly arguing about little things, putting pressure on each other or pulling each other down and we secretly wish more and more often to come home to an empty apartment instead of this person who is waiting for us.
In such phases, how do we know whether it is still worth holding on to the relationship and hoping for improvement? Admittedly, we don't have THE patent answer (if we find it at some point, you will of course be the first to find out!). We know a question that, ideally, can clarify two things at the same time: First if it pays to hold on to the partnership, and secondly how we can best save them.
With this question you can find your way out of a love crisis
The crucial question we can ask our partner when we seriously doubt our relationship with them is:
- What do you want from me?
The aim of the question is to find out what the other demands are from the partnership. What needs of him he thinks we should meet. What he needs from us in order to perceive the relationship as an enrichment and a meaningful part of his life.
Three possible exits
If, in response to our partner's answer, we find that his / her idea of a partnership cannot (no longer) be reconciled with our own, it looks rather bad. Why clench your teeth when we want different things? Is it more the habit or fear that holds us together than the prospect of a happy future …?
If we notice in his answer that we cannot satisfy his needs even with the best of will, that also sounds more like a relationship at the end. We're not there to make anyone happy. But if we bind a person to us and promise him something that we cannot keep, we are jointly responsible for his misfortune.
In the best case scenario, however, the question mentioned will tell us what our treasure loves about us. And what we can do (even more) to make him feel happy in the relationship.
Relationship is not a one-way street
In the event that it does not go without saying: Of course, the question should be the basis for an exchange and comparison of our two ideas! After all, it's not about figuring out how our partner would like us to come home with a smile every evening, but whether we are both can be happy together. It is therefore best to answer the question ourselves before we ask our partner. Who knows? Maybe that will solve our problem …