Is it normal to have doubts in a relationship?
Doubt are part of being human. We doubt ourselves, our decisions, our priorities, habits and our feelings anyway. Of course, our Relationshipsespecially our relationships or friendships, are always up for scrutiny. As long as we don’t constantly question them and feel relieved after doubting because we have realized that we are happy with the relationship in question, that is normal and completely okay.
Why do I have doubts about the relationship?
In a partnership arise Doubt usually when our perception does not match our expectations or ideas of love. The discrepancy triggers our feelings and sets the brooding process in motion. This gives us the chance to either rethink and adjust our perception (Am I perhaps getting worked up about something? Am I focusing too much on the problems and too little on the positive aspects of our relationship?) or our demands on love (Is it perhaps not such a bad thing to have a shared everyday life? Do we perhaps not need to have a relationship like the couples on Instagram?).
If we succeed in doing this, so that our feelings calm down and the urge to doubt subsides, then we have Reflect and probably even strengthened our love or decision for the relationship. If not, the questions will come back after a short time. And then we should draw conclusions, whether we like it or not.
“Nothing should be taboo in a relationship,” writes author and science journalist Dr. Werner Bartens in his book “Praise of long love“. “There are, however, a few questions that are better not to ask all the time. Neither to yourself, nor to the other person, nor to the relationship. If they still cannot be suppressed, that indicates a certain degree of breakdown.” Action is then unavoidable, unless we want to turn into unhappy grumps. Talk openly with your partner about your concerns, seek professional help if necessary, take a break from the relationship or separate are then the best answers.
You can find out which specific questions should alert you when they keep popping up in your thoughts in our gallery above.
What to do if you have doubts about the relationship?
- Speak out your fears
Bottling up your feelings can make your doubts even worse. Be open and honest and talk about what’s bothering you. - Develop common solutions
Find out what bothers you about the other person’s behavior or what makes you doubt. Then sit down together and think about how you can solve the problem. - Togetherness
Doubts can creep in when you don’t have enough time for each other. This can happen quickly in everyday life. Compare your schedules and set aside a few days or nights a week when you can spend time together. - Observe your doubts
If a particular doubt keeps bothering you, it could be that your instinct is telling you “trouble.” Perhaps your doubts have grown even as you’re trying to save the relationship. - Think about a separation
Ultimately, decide if your doubts are grounds for breaking up. A certain amount of doubt in a relationship is perfectly normal, but if your indecision persists despite taking steps, breaking up may be the better idea.