Duffy: Bad details about her weeks of martyrdom

British singer Duffy (35, "Well, Well, Well") was drugged, kidnapped and raped. She announced this via social media at the end of February because she "didn't want to hide anymore". She still does not say who did this to her, and she still leaves open the year in which she endured this martyrdom.

For this, she has now written many bad details and impressive thoughts from her soul in a nearly seven-page letter. She published it on the homepage "Duffy Words" – including a warning to tender-minded souls not to read any further.

The reasons for the break

She had spent "a decade" freeing herself from "hiding, not talking". "I was injured and it would have been dangerous to speak from this injured place before I felt ready," she explains of the long time she was in hiding because she needed it to process it. For a long time she even dreamed of completely changing her identity in order to start a new life. She couldn't have imagined returning to the stage and explaining her time out with an "invented story". That also made it difficult.

In addition to all the understandable reasons, she also calls a rather shocking why she didn't want to talk about what she had experienced: "Since I had no real private life or my own family, I didn't want to publicly reveal my story because it was my future love life could have been a hindrance. This is not exactly the advertisement I wanted before meeting the love of my life. " She actually "worried about being single forever".

A birthday many years ago

This is how the trauma came about: "It was my birthday, I was drugged in a restaurant, then I was drugged for four weeks." She got on a plane and traveled abroad. "I was taken to a hotel room and the perpetrator came back and raped me. I remember the pain and trying to stay conscious in the room after it happened," Duffy writes.

"I was stuck with him for another day, he didn't look at me, I should go after him, I was a little conscious and withdrawn. I could have disposed of him. I was thinking about fleeing to the neighboring town, when he was sleeping, but I had no money and I was afraid that he would incite the police because I ran away and that they might find me missing, "Duffy added.

"I don't know how I had the strength to endure these days, but I felt the presence of something that helped me stay alive. I flew back with him, I stayed calm and as normal as it did in one Such a situation was possible, and when I got home I was sitting there like a zombie. I knew that my life was in imminent danger, he had suggested that he wanted to kill me, "she describes the situation after the return.

"The perpetrator drugged me in my own apartment in the four weeks, I don't know if he raped me there during that time, I only remember driving around in a foreign country," she recalls. After she got home, someone she knew came to her house and saw her sitting on the balcony, wrapped in a blanket, staring into space. "I don't remember coming home," said Duffy.

"The first person I told about it months later was a psychologist, a leading UK expert on complex traumas and sexual violence," said Duffy. A long processing phase followed. The rape stole a third of her life. And if she "destroys her future" with these open lines, she "does it to honor my past".

Why is she publishing it now

She also explains why she is now making all of this public. "I can only hope that my words serve as a momentary distraction or maybe even as a consolation that you can get out of the darkness," the artist writes, referring to the current one Corona pandemic situation. "Now it's more important than ever to think about the impact we have on each other," said Duffy. The common crisis will bring about a big change, "a new understanding and a new appreciation of freedom and human connection," she believes. Still, only time can comfort you about losses.