editorial talk
Toxic Friendships: How Do You Deal With Them? 4 opinions
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Endure, seek the conversation or let it run its course in silence – four colleagues, four opinions.
People are not clothes
Away with everything that no longer brings joy? This motto from tidying guru Marie Kondo is great. For the contents of wardrobes. I don’t want to “clean up” my circle of friends in this way. Humans, these damn flawed, demanding, exhausting beings, are a completely different category to me. Of course, I often invest more than I get back. But I’m sure other people think the same about me. I’m just a loyal soul. And maybe a little bit conflict-averse.
Sina Teigelkötter, dossier editor
A lot goes nowhere
After I graduated from high school, I realized that friendships also mean work. You don’t see each other every day at school, you suddenly don’t live in the same city anymore, the centers of your life change – and you have to look out for each other. And why should I try to do something that is not good for me? I like to take the time to make friends, but if I notice that this time is being invested in the wrong way, I don’t do it – and a lot of things fizzle out.
Lisa Marie Horstmann, Deputy Head of Fashion & Beauty at gettotext.de
speak clearly
Basically, I would always say: talk. And break up when you don’t get along anymore. Phases of life and people change – so some friendships are not suitable for a lifetime. In the first lockdown, I noticed how a friend actually made me more of a strain than enjoying the time with her. We used to make regular appointments, but suddenly I realized: wait a minute, I don’t mind if I don’t see her anymore! I actually let it expire in silence.
Nikola Haaks, Brigitte Head of Balance Department
I have an early warning system
Luckily I don’t have any friends that aren’t good for me, because I have a fairly well-functioning early warning system. If something doesn’t go smoothly: speak up and follow up if necessary – this usually works well so that nothing gets caught up. Even if it is more exhausting and uncomfortable for everyone than sitting out disagreements or keeping quiet about them, this has proven to be the best method for me.
Katrin Kunze, editor at gettotext.de