Grow up
7 things our kids will wish we had taught them
© Oliver Rossi / Barbara
Adulthood is good until you become an adult and realize you still have a lot to learn or else life will kick your butt. It only gets easier if we learn the really important skills as a child.
How often did you think as a child: “When I finally grow up, I can do whatever I want”? And then came the day when you were bitterly disappointed in adulthood. If we were so naïvely convinced back then that once school was finally over, an uncomplicated life without discussions about curves and bio lectures about photosynthesis awaited us. Hallelujah, that would be nice. It was, too, until the disillusionment set in with the realization that being an adult, too, is a shitload of work and not at all as easy as one had imagined as a child. But on the contrary.
minting years
The first years of life are about our basis. In this imprinting phase, children form their image of the world, both positive and negative. A positive environment with good experiences ensures that a child perceives the world as a good and safe place, negative experiences for the opposite. It will carry this image of the world with it in the subconscious for the rest of its life. It determines our behavior, our inner attitude and our reactions. And at the latest when we have children, all these imprints and behaviors will come to the fore again and fall right on our feet.
Get out of the old patterns
In adulthood, it suddenly becomes apparent where all our deficits lie. And they are much more far-reaching than just the bit of math from school. Because now it’s time to learn the skills that we really need to get through life well. The funny thing is that as children, at the age when we learn by playing, we were often taught the wrong things, simply because it was expected or our parents didn’t teach them either – self-love, saying no, self-reflection, independence for example. And now 20, 30, 40 years later we are struggling to unlearn all the botches because these behaviors make our life difficult, drive us into burnouts and depression, complicate our relationships and all in all many of them are terribly unhealthy are. Unlearning and learning again takes a long time and is a real feat, because our brain is not as fast as it was in our childhood. Lousy station wagon.
One:r has to start
The only problem is that if we don’t tackle it, we’ll pass it on to our children. And just like us, they will wish that they had learned many things in their childhood. Specifically, for example, these seven things:
1. Forced apologies are not authentic. Their only added value is to sweep unpleasant things under the rug as quickly as possible and change the subject or just pretend nothing ever happened.
2. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, who: who is mean to you. Never!
3. It’s okay not to be liked by everyone and you don’t have to like everyone either.
4. Unpleasant feelings are part of itwhen you set limits. We just have to learn how to deal with them and we can practice that.
5. Listen to your gut – especially how other people make you feel.
6. You don’t have to do everything, just because others expect you to. You are correct just the way you are.
7. Acceptance is the key to satisfaction. You can’t change anyone but yourself.
To make things easier for our children, as the saying goes, we prefer to pave the way from the start and do the work on ourselves instead of always passing the baton on. Just do it!