Are you an emotional shock absorber?
In relationships, whether friendship or partnership, there is often one party that withers its needs. You can find out here how to recognize whether you are a so-called emotional shock absorber.
Problems in relationships can often be traced back to unfulfilled expectations. Therefore, open communication is the be-all and end-all of a successful partnership. After all, the: the partner: in can hardly meet said expectations if they are not stated at all. But that is precisely what is easier said than done for many people: They find it difficult to reveal their opinions and feelings. Instead, they suppress their needs. These people can be referred to as “shock absorbers”.
Emotional shock absorber – what is it?
In a car, the shock absorbers soften shocks and vibrations to make the journey more comfortable for all occupants. Because without the shock absorbers, the ride would be bumpy and uncomfortable. It is similar with an emotional shock absorber. Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or in the work environment: You ignore or accept the reckless or unfriendly behavior of others in order to avoid conflicts. They would like to protest and defend themselves, but they fear that doing so will only make things worse. Over time, most of their communication consists of silence.
Harmony and the well-being of others are important to these people – a noble trait. But in doing so, they forget themselves. Those who are only concerned with keeping the peace and solving other people’s problems will fall by the wayside. Your own needs are always subordinate – that’s not good in the long run.
Psychology: This is how you can tell that you are an emotional shock absorber
- You feel responsible not only for maintaining harmony in your own relationships, but also between the people around you.
- You find yourself explaining or justifying the behavior of others in order to mitigate the consequences of what actually happened.
- You take on more and more responsibility because others are stressed or inefficient.
- You would be embarrassed if a friend knew how much responsibility you take on or how much bad behavior you accept in order to avoid conflicts.
- You are often upset, overloaded, or anxious in your relationships, especially with those who are closest to you.
No conflict is no solution
Acting as an emotional shock absorber can be effective in the short term. Because in certain situations it is certainly the smart option not to say anything. Especially in partnerships, not every word should be weighed on the gold scales and trifled with trivialities – sometimes it’s good to let go. Avoiding confrontation at all costs, however, does not work.
The foundation of any healthy relationship is transparent communication, without which a relationship cannot survive. And conflicts are not only normal, but also helpful: by taking responsibility for our words and actions, we can grow and learn from them. In addition, perfect harmony does not exist, as it requires a high degree of conflict avoidance. This prevents possible positive changes and inhibits people’s emotional growth. Ignoring problems doesn’t help anyone in the end.
Source used: psychologytoday.com