Sometimes life is a really good fight! But does it really have to be? Our author believes: No!
Make life unnecessarily difficult and stand in your own way? Can I! Brooding, doubting myself, getting into problems – I have everything under control. But the older I get, the more often I manage to hold back and call myself to reason if I threaten to mutate into a drama queen again. And above all the following insights help me with this.
4 insights that let me enjoy life more
1. I am not the center of the world.
For a while I suffered particularly from my penchant for perfectionism. It was extremely stressful for me not to be able to do something or make a mistake. But the truth is: If I have a problem or make a mistake, more than seven billion people don't care. After all, they don't even notice it. I think so extremely soothing! Because when my little dramas are so completely unimportant to so many people, they can't be too bad – and it's mostly up to me what I make of it.
2. It only looks so easy with the others.
One question: where do everyone always want to go? When I look at other people like this, it always seems to me that they know exactly what they are doing and why. On the other hand, I've actually felt my whole life improvising more or less. But can you see that in me? Nope! Because I hide it well. And what I can do, others can do for a long time!
I make every bet: if we were all completely honest and blank (and I don't mean now and then to show our cellulite or not cover pimples), we would find that nobody really has a plan. Und that everyone doubts, improvised and stumbles ahead rather than strides – but maybe that's not bad at all, just human.
3. I can't make right decisions – but I can't make wrong ones either.
Sure, as a (formerly helpless) perfectionist, I often had a hard time making decisions. I always wanted to think about everything, play through scenarios in my head and act with foresight. But first, what is right and what is wrong has only been thought up by some (probably clever) people anyway – but no one knows whether it is really true.
And secondly, I'm just a person with a mini perspective and a tiny amount of knowledge and experiencethat I can consult – and three additional thought loops don't change anything! Since this is clear to me, I have been making decisions faster, more pragmatically, more intuitively, much more confidently, courageously and more – and that has made me a lot smarter.
4. I have only one life …
… and when I'm dead it's all over anyway!
For me, different things follow, for example:
- I always feel like going straight on the cramp, just because it is the closest and easiest or because others expect me to do so, I somehow find it "wrong topic"! After all, it enriches my self-confidence and my wealth of experience much more if I try as much as possible – and my chance to find out what makes me really happy increases that too.
- Even my greatest pain and darkest hour will one day pass, be forgotten and even be irrelevant – why in the meantime don't focus on the beautiful, as good as it gets?
- I cannot spend time and energy pursuing goals that are not mine. I have just this one chance to live myself, to develop, to go my own way and to look for my happiness. Anything that helps me and gives me strength (e.g. chocolate ice cream, joy about what I have, love) is allowed, of everything else (beauty ideals, follower numbers, career goals that my neighbors have) I want free myself as much as possible – because it can only get in my way or burden me.