Erotic dreams: What is behind it?

erotic-dreams-what-is-behind-it

They can be comfortable, but also confusing and disturbing. What do erotic dreams tell us?

 

Where do erotic dreams come from?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Like all dreams, the erotic come from within, therefore, where we are alone with ourselves. Psychoanalysis assumes that they spring from erotic desires. That’s not sure. The brain can produce different images at the same time. In the sleep laboratory, it was observed that when someone talks while they are sleeping it does not necessarily have to do with the dream they are dreaming about. There seem to be different levels. Incidentally, erotic dreams can also be triggered by autonomous processes in the nervous system.

That sounds terrifyingly sober. How can you imagine that?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Our memory is not a film archive from which we simply retrieve images. It’s creative happening. We get pleasurable feelings and the associated pictures, if in the short-term memory stored stimuli meet wishes. They are hungry and it smells like cake. Already imagine a cake. It’s that easy. But it’s usually more complicated. The charms are less clear, the wishes too. Dreams arise from this mixed situation. They make possible worlds so that we can explain our feelings.

Is it always about sex in erotic dreams?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Sex scenes are even more rare. And when they happen, they are mostly banal. No great feelings of happiness, no dramas, little unusual situations. You know that from sleep research. The memory of the erotic dream is often a lot more spicy than the dream itself. Awareness demands something tangible and therefore enhances the images. By the way, not unlike in everyday life: The reality is hardly spectacular, the memory makes more of it, in the narrative, the story becomes dramatic.

If the sex scenes are not so wild – what is erotic then?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Eroticism is more than concrete sex. It’s about the whole area of ​​arousal. Erotic dreams are composed of blurry individual parts, of stimulating pictorial splinters. Part of the erotic emotional world is the quiet play of intermediate tones and hints, even in dreams. The visible is not decisive. If you only cling to it, you will not see much – in life as in a dream. As a psychoanalyst, I distrust the obvious.

In the dream, some even experience a climax. Were the pictures particularly tingling?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: At the risk of once again sobering: The orgasm during sleep does not have to be the result of a great sextuple. Maybe the other way around is the arousal, then the dream. The brain wonders: what’s going on there? And dreams about it quickly. Men are known to have cyclical erections at night, interestingly parallel to the dream phases. Male erection has three known triggers: the psyche, manual stimulation, and the autonomic nerves. However, in the opinion of sleep researchers, the erection is probably stronger when an erotic dream is involved.

At what age does one start to dream erotically?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Even toddlers dream with relish. The breast plays a big role. Children can also dream hidden erotic desires. A little boy, for example, who dreams of a monster sticking his sword in the sheath. It bothers him that he can do that with his penis too. Later, during puberty, sexuality becomes more object-related. That means, we feel like a sexual partner – even in sleep. Erotic dreams grow with humans.

Does each of us have a repertoire of stimulating dream pictures?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: No. It depends a lot on how imaginative someone is. Our dream life is shaped by our imagination. It is the source for many nocturnal pictures, even for the exciting ones. Nevertheless, even a person with less imagination can dream erotic desires. Only they are often capped.

How can you recognize them?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: With the help of his own ideas and thoughts to dream. Every dream has an emotional basis. You can discover them by, for example, tracking: What is my feeling when I wake up from the dream? Am I restless, relieved, sad, happy? Then you can think about it: Why is my feeling like that? What else does the dream come to mind? A good way is also to write down the dream and the ideas. I call that: securing your own fantasies. That’s how you learn to understand yourself better.

In many dream books binding symbols are fixed. The tree stands for life energy, water for the unconscious, the tower for potency. What do you make of it?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: From the outside, dreams can not be deciphered. Such interpretations and symbols are often flat. Not every church tower is a penis.

Too bad. Why so reserved?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Think of a normal sausage. For some, it is simply food, for the other a dirty word, for the third a sexual symbol. Dream pictures are also very personal interpretations. I do not like instant versions of dreams. In psychoanalysis, the meaning of individual dreams in a protected space is carefully worked out. The therapeutic relationship plays a key role here.

Another attempt at interpretation: am I secretly in love, when I dream of my ex-boyfriend, for example?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: You will not make it (laughs). This question also belongs to the difficult area of ​​symbol interpretation. As an analyst I can only learn from the dreamer herself what you think of her ex-boyfriend. In conversation, we would find out which part she desires from him. It does not have to be his genitals.

But?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Maybe she misses something from the time of being together. His humor, the city where he lives, the mutual friends. There is a lot that binds couples together. Not only erotic and sex.

“The dream as a ‘world construction'”

So erotic dreams betray secret desires?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Yes, if one secretly as a secret from himself. Dreams often have something veiled. Longing, which I am aware of, I do not have to dream. I know her. In the dream, our unconscious brings together living and often amazing stories about our deeper reality. We experience something that we can not acknowledge.

Are erotic dreams a sign of sexual dissatisfaction – or more of an imaginative sexual life?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Yes and yes. Out of sexual frustration, we unconsciously design a world in which our desires are fulfilled. Sigmund Freud was of the opinion that dreams are an outlet for an unfulfilled sexual drive. Today, in psychoanalysis, we speak of dreams rather than “world construction”. We no longer imagine the brain as mechanically, but rather active and very creative. And of course, a lively, imaginative love life can also have a lasting effect in the dream and fuel it.

Last question: Shall I tell my partner about my dreams, even if they hurt him?

Dr. Andreas Hamburger: Openness is not an obligation. Something as delicate as human relationships can not be treated with rules. However, in experience seminars, I have the experience: Openness can mean a gain in closeness. The partner knows me well. He could think of exactly what I’m going to avoid. Even if I dream of my ex-girlfriend. Unfulfilled wishes from a past partnership, which may appear in the dream, could indeed be lived in the new relationship. Openness can therefore mean a big gain in closeness.