In 2016, Eve used sterilization for contraception using the Essure method. The 24-year-old always knew she wouldn't want to be a mom. A decision often difficult to accept by those around them but also by the medical staff. Testimony.
Eve is 24 years old. In 2016, the young woman decided to be sterilized. A carefully considered choice that she does not regret today. She never wanted children and has a phobia of pregnancy (also called tokophobia). Nonetheless, she faced many obstacles on her journey to sterilization. Refusal on the part of doctors, virulent reactions in her entourage… many tried to dissuade her. In France, not wanting children is still frowned upon in society, even though being a woman does not mean having to become a mother. Free of her body and her choices, Eve still went to the end of her decision. She tells.
"I didn't see myself being responsible for a child my whole life, I love my freedom, I have no affinity with children and I have a phobia of being pregnant. Already from 8 years old, I said that I didn't want children. I started to think about sterilization around 16 or 17 years old. When I was 18 and a half, I was sure of my choice and decided to discuss it with a healthcare professional.
Deterrence attempts
I first encountered a family planning doctor, who tried to talk me out of it. He thought I would change my mind over time. So I decided to see it directly with my GP, but he tried to make me believe that it wasn't legal for 25 years.
I had to go back to family planning to receive a prescription for an implant and ran into a doctor who didn't even know sterilization was legal. When I came back to put the implant in, I ran into the first doctor I had spoken to. She finally gave me the name of a gynecologist in a hospital who could operate on me.
I made an appointment and was very stressed out when I met him. I still had to justify my decision up and down to get him to agree. We completed the first page of the sterilization booklet together, but he asked me to make an appointment with the family planning marriage counselor to talk to him about my project before going any further.
This meeting went wrong. The counselor did not understand my phobia regarding pregnancy and my aversion to babies. She tried to find out where it could come from, if I had any problems in my family, etc.
She even told me that the purpose of life is to reproduce …
However, I did not change my mind and made a second appointment with the surgeon. We talked about the method chosen – I used sterilization for contraceptive purposes with Essure implants, which has not been possible in France since 2017 – and the operation took place shortly after.
Virulent reactions
I had all kinds of reactions when I announced that I wanted to be sterilized. Some members of my family have sought to understand the reasons for my choice. My friends have supported them, even though one of them has two children. On the other hand, I encountered very strong reactions from my former neighbors. For example, I was told that I was useless if I didn't have children, that I was a * c * n and that I was going to regret it. Worse, some told me to go kill myself. It was very hard. My ex even threatened to leave me if I went through with my plan. So I hid my operation from him, before leaving him for other reasons.
Generally, there are two types of reactions when we announce that we are going to be sterilized, there are those who don't care and / or understand, and those who tell you that you are going to regret it and try to change you. notice.
For my part, I've always known that I don't want children. I thought about it for several years before launching the process. I don't think I'll ever regret it. It has been four years since the operation and I am happier than ever.
People who criticize this decision have no right to it. It will not affect their lives and that is none of their business. It's about my body, I'm free to do with it what I want. From my perspective, it's better to regret having your tubal tied than having a child. "
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