psychology
Ever since I understood one thing, I finally feel strong
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Be strong? Not always that easy, especially when you’ve slept badly. But our author has found a way to get stronger every day – no matter how well rested she is.
Honestly? I’ve never been a big fan of being strong! Always keep your head up, hold on, grit your teeth, do not show yourself naked, do not let your feelings throw you off course, even turn your weaknesses into strengths – that just sounds mega stressful to me. And (at least in my case) blatantly pretending and acting. But in the meantime I have realized that being strong has to mean something else – and that is precisely what is not being said.
What does strong mean?
Strong coffee makes you particularly awake, after a strong caipi someone should ideally take care of me, and a heavy accent is particularly sexy (or super cute, if it’s Dutch!). In all of these things, the word “strong” means something like intense, based on the property that most distinguishes the thing in question (with coffee the caffeine, with caipi the cachaça, with the accent the deviation from the way of speaking of a native speaker).
Why should “strong” suddenly mean something completely different in relation to humans? Because: If, for example, I don’t let my feelings throw me off track or clench my teeth, I’m doing exactly the opposite of what would be “living intensely” for me. After all, if I ignore my emotions, I erase an important part of my personality.
Strength must not destroy people
Also: I like strong coffee, strength is something positive for me! On the other hand, I do not like people at all who, for example, do not show themselves naked or who never fail. I find them very unsympathetic! And they are usually not happy and successful either.
For example, I once worked in a job and team in which the manager never made mistakes – it was always the others! And that although he was an animal control freak and had an eye on absolutely everything. Totally crazy! Since his divorce, he has bullied the team and me wherever he could. Sometimes you could smell his alcohol flag, you could always see his conspicuously red speckled face.
Today I think he wanted to be strong but had a completely wrong idea of what it was (similar to how I used to!). Indeed in doing so he destroyed not only his own life but others as well – For me it was the worst two years of my career so far.
A strong person is …
But what, if not flawless and inviolable, does a person have to be so that he can be described and admired as strong with a clear conscience? It is now very clear to me: He has to especially human be!
Humanity is to humans what caffeine is to coffee. Humanity distinguishes us as human beings and sets us apart from jellyfish, caipis and stars. and I think humanity is great! After all, it includes such great and lovable things as charity, imperfection, flaws, team spirit, longing, needs, conscious enjoyment, fallibility, sensitivity, the pursuit of happiness and creativity. My biggest role models and inspirations (my parents, my big sister, a few bloggers) are all totally human.
Also: three of the most typical human traits are …
- our Social sense: Our whole society and reality only work because we work together. Without the others, each and every one of us would be screwed.
- our individuality: We are all incredibly different and unique!
- and our Ability to learn: We learn and develop throughout our lives based on our experiences (and the mistakes we make!).
This clarifies everything that is important for me that I need to know about being strong:
- Together we are always the strongest!
- Being strong has almost 7.7 billion faces!
- I get a little stronger every day (because I am open to growing from my experiences and mistakes)!
So for me it fits. And being strong no longer sounds like stress and pretense, but rather like something beautiful and something worth striving for. After all, I don’t have to do anything more than – wholeheartedly – to be me!